Day 14

There was a big chance to my treatment that I just forgot to mention after Turbulent Tuesday. Because of the breathing problems I have had, the Dr. want to stop using Bleomycin as there is a risk of long term problems. At this point, I do not know what that means for the big picture including the length of treatment, drugs being used, etc as it's possible somethings could change. I will know more on Tuesday as I have a 3:30pm appointment with the Dr. I am really okay with the decision to not use the Bleo as last Tuesday was the first Bleo only (the need was to go to the Dr. for Bleo only every Tuesday for the length of treatment) appointment and it resulted in a trip to the ER, throwing up in the hospital bathroom and a very sore throat.

One of the know side affects of Etoposide is hair loss. They told me how it works as the medicine kills the good cells that help hair and nails grow and I would see a change 2-4 weeks after the first treatment. I've started to notice that my facial hair is not growing at the same rate as it was and feel like that is the start to the noticeable change in my hair. I really realized it Friday morning when I got up and went to shave and realized that I didn't need to as there was little growth since the day before. This is okay as they told me to shave with an electric razor (which I don't have) to reduce the risk of getting cut as I might have a hard time stopping the bleeding.

With next week's Thanksgiving holiday, it's obviously a time when people reflect and review what's going on in their lives. I've realized how thankful I am to a group of people that I will never know and who, because of many reasons that might include total desperation, were willing to be human Guinea pigs and sit through clinical trials of chemo medication with little or no "guaranty" of survival. How bad would it need to be for someone to make that decision to try some untested drug and go through the pain of Chemo not knowing if it would be successful on the other side. I feel fortunate not to be in that position and grateful for all those who have gone before me and paved this road. I'm glad I don't have to look at the girls and make that choice.

Jen and the girls walked up to the get them mail and ran into our next door neighbor Pete. He had been working on a book for since 1992 and it was published this past spring. He gave Jen a copy of the book for me to read as it's historical fiction. It's titled "7 OX 7" and it's the first part of a trilogy about the old west (1877 I believe). I will read it as Pete and I have discussed the book before and I did not realize it had made it's way to print. What a great accomplishment for him and a great gift to give someone.

With Chemo week # 2 coming up (Starts on November 26th), I am trying to take care of a bunch of things before then. We scheduled to have the carpets cleaned that week and take the dog to the cleaners and to the vet for a check up, etc. Yesterday, I ran some errands and stopped for Dog food to make sure we have enough so it's not something we need to think about. The store was really busy and there was a video on that caught my eye for a product know as the FURminator. We have a golden retriever and she has a ton of hair. I will admit that we do not brush her daily and could help with the hair problem if we did. So, I am watching this video and they claim their "deshedding" tool reduces shedding by 90% on long hair dogs and cats and the video shows them cleaning up a golden and it's amazing. So, I plunked down the $49.99 ($10 of as it's usually $59.99) for the large tool and ran home to find the dog. We sat outside for ½ hour and I pulled 5lbs of hair off the dog, It was amazing. Below is the link for this thing and it's worth looking at if you have a pet that sheds.

http://www.furminator.com/



The last thing I have been thinking about is if I should contact people that I might not have talked to in the past couple years and tell them what is going on. It seems very selfish and almost a need for attention and on the other side, at some point, they might say to me "why didn't you tell me?" How does that conversation go? Hi, I know we are old friends and have not talked in 4 years and I am currently going through Chemotherapy and wanted you to know. At that point, what is my expectation of them? How about their reaction to me and the gap since we last talked? Seems like a lot a baggage to drop on someone. Jen gave me an easy out and said I could write a Holiday card "Letter" this year to tell everyone what is going on. Not sure I want to do that either as I have received some of those in the past and, although they are a good recap of a family's year, I am not sure that is where I want to drop this news. So, I will continue to think about telling a handful of people and wonder if I should really knowing there is no right answer.

Sam