Right now, I am feeling about 85%. I'd like to say the percentage is higher but I am aware of some things that are still night right. Jennifer and I were talking and I told her my head was clear and then proceeded to tell her a story where she needed to go back and ask me a bunch of questions. By the questions she was asking, it was clear to me that I had not done a good job of explaining the situation. Although it's exciting to be at 85%, it's like getting close to the top of the mountain and knowing you are going to get knocked down. 6 Weeks from now, I will be really excited as I know that when I recover from the 4th cycle, that is it.
I had an office visit with Reznick yesterday and it was good because he added almost a liter of extra fluid to each day's chemo with the hope of avoiding the dehydration and some of the other side affects. As we have discussed, the treatment needs tweaking and I hope this adjustment will make it easier. (I know, I know.... most of you think I am soft already and just a big crybaby....) During the visit Reznick said I need to get in for blood work and CT scans of my pelvic area and lungs. He also asked if I ever followed up with Dr. Forester, the breathing Dr and I told him I had not as it's been really busy in the office and I had some things to take care of. He, as the Dr, very clearly said that my health is also important and not to neglect these appointments. Trust me, I understand the importance of the medical stuff and it's really hard as I only have a couple of productive days at work (which is big to me for many reasons most importantly their support for of my condition and treatment schedule) and I want to maximize that time. He didn't really go for it and had his office schedule the scans and they were only able to get me in on Friday at 11:45am. It's not terrible as the total time for the scans should only be about ½ hour. It's just tough as there is little flow to the time I am at the office and I feel as though I am missing so much. The good news is that Reznick told me his expectation of the scans and that would be to see the Lymph node back to the normal size of 1cm and very little evidence of the 11 lung tumors. He feels this way because of the past blood work and the tumor markers. Of course, I hope he is correct as he stated that we would be having a different conversation if they are still as prevalent as they were at the time of the first scan. Having a pelvic scan means another bottle of the awful white paste drink known as contrast. This time they gave me one apple flavored bottle and I am okay with that as my first scan required that I drink 2 bottles.
http://www.gregliptak.com/
I hate to be the guy who stands on a soap box and yells to all of you so I will say this as a friend: Please get in for a check up and do not ignore the signs your body sends. The longer you wait.....
Sam
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3 comments:
Sam,
I'm sorry for your sickness and all the shit that comes with facing the reality of cancer. Personally, I hated it when people told me "everything was going to be ok" and how many times I heard, "at least they caught it early". I never want to be misunderstood on this, I am very thankful to be alive and I know there are a multitude of woman who were not as fortunate as I. But on every level, it is CANCER. I mean Cancer! and once you have it,you are forever changed. there are emotional scars as well as physical ones. And so much mental stress that sometimes with it that it would be nice to just have the option of removing our brain from our heads or a "shut off" button, so we can just stop thinking about Everything. Everything like, how we could have missed it, why it happened to us, how we cannot and will not leave our kids, our own internal battle plan of survival, and so on, and so on.
I'm sad for every person affected by cancer. And when they are as unfortunate as Greg, well, it is just that much more devastating. You are right, in that because of those less fortunate, we find another level of gratitude and hope. Because what is the purpose to any of it/this if we do not even have a chance to hope.
You are climbing a ladder to live...survival mode is what I like to say. That will change when your treatment finishes and then you will face other challenges. There will be fear, a different fear, and your physical loss, the emotional scars...it is...well...sometimes still overwhelming, sometimes sad, a tremendous relief and hope to courage to face a new day and begin to put your life back to some frame of normalcy.
Take hold of every emotion you are feeling; own them, all of them. They are all ok, normal and very understandable. I'm thinking of you and praying for your peace and wellness
Sam,
I was so moved by your comments on Greg that I wanted to connect with him and his family immediately.
I know that your cancer and the beginning of your wellness has effected all of us that love you. I cannot begin to think of how Greg's family feels, and I that I am even more thankful each day for your heath.
I Wish Peace for him and his family. Thank you for sharing his story.
Mom
Sam,
I must say that I do not believe ANYONE has for even a moment thought of you as a crybaby if anything your strength has shown through constantly even when we do not expect it.
I also wanted to ask how you know Greg..you only give the link but no background to your connection with him other then of course that you are both batteling this disease.
Thinking of you and I love you.
Heather
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