I would like to apologize to everyone for the time between posts. The end of last week, including spending both Saturday and Sunday at Centennial Hospital ER for fluids (planned ahead)were exhausting and it ran right into the holidays and a Monday appointment with Reznick. Jennifer was extremely sick and ended up in the ER on Wednesday and it took her the whole week to feel better.It was another rough weekend and even though the days are passing, it's pretty tough. With this past weekend, it was also hard because of the holidays and it being "the most wonderful time of the year" and wanting to participate even though I was not feeling well. The best part was the snow on Christmas day as there was no reason for us to go anywhere or do anything other then spend the day together.
Many of you called, emailed or sent your thoughts and we truly appreciate it. The girls received many nice things from a lot of people and I can't thank you enough for thinking of them. Although we do our best to keep the spirits up around here, there are times when it's hard, as it was last week, and the constant support is great. It's still hard to talk with people on the phone as it's usually an emotional conversation and with the holiday's, it's been impossible. I just can't talk about it anymore and most people want to ask about it. Although it's probably hard for you, it's much better for me not to have conversations about what is going on. If I can do a better job with the blog, I will as that will keep everyone informed. Although the extra fluid did help at the end of the chemo week, all the other things are a little stronger than they were in the 2nd cycle which was a little tougher than the first. Eating seems impossible as nothing is working.
Many of you called, emailed or sent your thoughts and we truly appreciate it. The girls received many nice things from a lot of people and I can't thank you enough for thinking of them. Although we do our best to keep the spirits up around here, there are times when it's hard, as it was last week, and the constant support is great. It's still hard to talk with people on the phone as it's usually an emotional conversation and with the holiday's, it's been impossible. I just can't talk about it anymore and most people want to ask about it. Although it's probably hard for you, it's much better for me not to have conversations about what is going on. If I can do a better job with the blog, I will as that will keep everyone informed. Although the extra fluid did help at the end of the chemo week, all the other things are a little stronger than they were in the 2nd cycle which was a little tougher than the first. Eating seems impossible as nothing is working.
I have been having pain in my left heal and it's caused me to start walking on the ball of my foot. It's worse in the morning and last for a few hours before starting to back off. I talked with Reznick on Monday and it's not something he is concerned with except for my physical pain. It's something that I should take otc pain relief for to help. At this point, my foot looks like skin and bones as do my legs as they are pretty thin. All of my clothes are loose and my shoes are fitting differently now. On Monday, I got the Neulesta shot so I should anticipate a crappy Saturday afternoon-Sunday morning as the past 2 cycles have been pretty painful. It's not the aching pain on Thursday-Saturday that is bad, it's the end of the whole thing where I have had a lot of sharp direct pain. As you can tell, the whole Chemo/Treatment thing is not pleasant from start to finish and these are just some of the little things we deal with.
I am back to the office tomorrow and looking forward to it. It's tough to find that balance of being a cancer patient and having a normal life. I realize that in the scheme of things, 12 weeks is nothing but when you are in the middle of it, it feels endless.
I am back to the office tomorrow and looking forward to it. It's tough to find that balance of being a cancer patient and having a normal life. I realize that in the scheme of things, 12 weeks is nothing but when you are in the middle of it, it feels endless.
1 comment:
Honey,
It is so hard not to want to know everything that is going on. All of us feel so inadequate in helping and since thats practically all we know how to do, it leaves a empty whole so large.
Our trip to Oakland was wonderful and terrible. Everyone said it would be so good for us to get away, BUT, the first questions our friends asked was about you. People on our old block came over to Kathleen & Richard's for the one purpose of saying hello and to ask how you were. Such a out pouring of their care took both of us by surprise.
I truly understand how difficult it felt from my point of view to have a "Happy Holiday". Words were meaningless and my emotions roll around like waves in the ocean. And, many times I can not even talk.
We are looking forward to 2008 with much anticipation for a much better and healthier year. I count my blessings every day and all of you are amoung them.
Steve and I are here anytime for all of you. And you know what joy it is for us to have the girls to play with. Briley has a new sled and although I am not too good in the snow, I will try anything once.
I love you with all my heart and if I could, I would take it away.
Mom
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