Wednesday, May 28, 2008

New Photo's #3





The last Photo is Addison looking over the edge of the bathtub.

New Photo's #2






Here are photos of the girls on Addison's Birthday.


New Photos #1






Attached are a bunch of new photos of the girls and the 24 hours of Hockey. Hope you enjoy.

Sam

Friday, April 18, 2008

I just got my first haircut since September. It's interesting how something so simple can make you reflect on a bad time and still make you happy as you have hair to cut.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Hockey


I just played my first hockey game since September 30th. My feet were pretty sore as it took a few shifts for the burning to stop. It was a good game and I believe the ref gave me a phantom assist after he asked why he had not seen me in a while. Although I will be very sore this weekend, it will be a good sore as I'm thrilled to be playing hockey again.

Sam

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

It's been a months since my last post.....

Wow, I really did not realize it had been so long since I last posted. For me, it's good that I am not posting much as the function of this blog was to deliver the news of cancer and the treatment, etc. I had 3 CT scans last Friday and Blood work on Wednesday in preparation for today's appointment with Reznick. My scans are clear as is my blood and I will not see Reznick again until the beginning of June. Reznick is pretty happy with how things look right now and he is really clear that the treatment got all of the cancer.

My treatment ended on January 11th and I am really feeling about 90-95%. My hair is growing back, my taste is back, I no longer feel nauseous all the time and I am pretty well hydrated. The only noticeable side affect that I still deal with is numbness in my hands and feet. I can tell that it is diminishing and, hopefully, it will be totally gone soon. My appetite has slowed down and, after gaining back 9 lbs in the first month following treatment, I've only added another pound since. There were days when I would eat constantly and really felt like I could not stop. I have never experienced that aggressive of an appetite and I am glad that has slowed down. All in all, I'm feeling pretty good.


With so many people doing things for me, I really want to give back and do something for others. As I have mentioned in the past, I am going to Participate in the 24 HOURS OF HOCKEY charity event on May 16th and 17th. The event raises money for Children's Hospital of Denver, a place we are familiar with as Addison was there 1 year ago with phenomena. If you are a parent or grandparent, this is where you want you kids going as they are consistently named one of the top children's hospitals in the country. The event will be a huge challenge as they have changed the format to 4 teams of 20 players with each team on the ice for the entire 24 hours. At this point, my team only has 11 players and once we get enough, we will be able to schedule some breaks so everyone is not out there the entire time. I am hoping to raise at least $1000 for the hospital and would like to ask everyone out there sponsor me. People were asking what is a good amount and I can't say. Anything will help the hospital and I can tell you that Last year, I had a lot of people who were willing to sponsor me for $1 or $2 for each hour of play. If you can do that, it would be great and if not, please consider any amount that works. There are a few ways to become a sponsor:

1) Send me a check made out to the Children's Hospital. You will receive a tax statement directly from the hospital. (2559 S. Flanders Court, Aurora, CO 80013)

2) Go tohttp://www.24hoursofhockey.com and click on the Donate tab. There is a section with a Online Donation form where you can use your credit or debt card to donate. Please be sure to put my name in on the first page so I know that you contributed and can properly thank you when this things is over.


Thank you for considering this and I will send an email out to everyone with much of the same information (as long as I have your email address).

I will keep the blog going until the 24 hours is complete.

Sam

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Check Up

I had my first check up on Monday afternoon and everything is good. Last week I had blood taken and the numbers all came back in the healthy range and I am scheduled for a scan at the end of March. At this point, I will have scans every two months for the first year so they can make sure nothing is coming back. Although the appointment was pretty quick (10 minutes), I spent a while talking with a few people that were in the office getting their treatment. One of the people was Gary, a man I had talked about earlier as he has some pretty nasty cancer and he was the man who had the fluid drained out of his head. Since I last saw him, he has gotten rid of his cane and is walking which is nice. He is in the process of scheduling a stem cell transplant as they just found out his brother is a match. It will require Gary to stay in the hospital for 1 month and then live very close to the hospital as there is a high risk for his body to reject the transplant and he needs to be able to get to the hospital in minutes. There was another lady getting treatment (who's name I can not remember), and we had talked a few times during treatment. She was sitting with her daughter and she was surprised to see how much energy I had. I was able to tell her and Gary and the one other person in there how great I felt and that, when I was getting chemo, I could never have imagined that I would get back to this point and feel Normal. I think it was good for them to hear as it's so hard to look past your current situation. As we continued to talk, this lady mentioned that she had a pretty rough run and spent 5 days in the hospital with Anemia, which was very similar to what I went through. They were going to lower the strength of her medication by 20% and give her and extra cycle. I am not sure I could have handled that.

Anyway, during the conversation with the Dr., I told him that I am still sleeping and eating a lot. He said it was okay as my chemo ended just 6 weeks ago. It's hard for me to look at it that way as it feels like it was years ago. He understood and said most people are able to move on pretty quickly. He did warn me about eating too much as I have put 9 lbs back on.

Thanks again for checking on me, I appreciate hearing from all of you.

Sam

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Update

Sorry for the delay since the last post. Things are busy and I am feeling pretty good. I am still experiencing some side affects and expect to have them linger for the next few months. The taste of food is still not normal, my hair is just starting to think about returning and the tips of my fingers still tingle. There are other things and they are pretty minor. Even with food's lack of taste, I am hungry all the time. Although I am eating normal meals, I am eating whenever I can between the meals and it still does not seem like enough. The other thing I cant get enough of is sleep. I have never been a good sleeper and over the past couple of weeks, I've had nights when I've gone to sleep at 7pm and woke the next day just before 6am. I am sure these 2 things will slow down as things continue to get back to normal.

I go a week from Friday for a blood test and have my first "after cancer" treatment with Reznick on the following Monday. It's been pretty nice not going to his office and not getting poked everyday.

I know I've said I will get some photos on here and I will do my best to upload them this weekend.

Obviously, my time on the blog is slowing down. I hope to write once a week to update everyone on the rest of the recovery and our family. At some point soon, I will start skating and getting ready for the 24 hours of hockey charity event and then I will start to ask everyone for donations for the Childrens hospital. The event is in May and I hope to raise a couple thousand bucks for the hospital. I will keep everyone posted and remember, it's a tax writeoff!!!


Talk to you soon.

Sam

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Port


I went to Skyridge hospital today at 1130am for my 12:30pm appointment.  I went into the "minor procedure room" right on time and the Dr came in shortly afterward. Since this was not a big deal, I still had slacks and dress shoes on as I layed down on the table and buckled me in.  The Dr and 2 nurses were in the room, they talked non stop and occasionally threw in some medical terms. After they cleaned the area, dried it and put down a bunch of clean towels, the Dr told me I would feel a quick pinch which he said would be like a bee sting. I have only had external stitches once before (when the port was put in) and I was under a general medicine and was out cold. The shot they gave me hurt BAD and they he took the needle and bounced it off my skin asking if I could feel it. On the 3rd or 4th poke, I felt one and they gave me more medicine. It's pretty strange hearing the talk and feeling the tug of your body even though you do not feel pain. I closed my eyes and let them do their thing and at one point, the nurse asked how long the port had been in as "there was a lot of scar tissue built up" and then the Dr said that is why he it was taking so long and that he was almost done "digging". All of the sudden, I heard a little pop and they told me it was out. They then cleaned it up and stitched it back together. All in all, it was a pretty easy gig although, if given a choice, I would prefer not to hear the operating room chatter. Its a pretty small cut and it's a little sore tonight. I would guess everything will be fine by the weekend.

I'm really glad to have the port out and do not have any medical appointment until 2/26 (I think) and I look forward to having a couple weeks until I need to visit anyone.

I am going to sacramneto tomorrow and need to work on my portion of the presentation.

Sam



Saturday, February 2, 2008

Saturday morning

Hi,

  Sorry for the delay in posting this week. I've been back at work everyday and found myself going to sleep very early and sleeping a full night. There was a day this week where I slept for 10 hours and that is not something I usually do. It was great to get back to work and I was glad to see that most of the chemo/cancer questions died down by mid week. Some people would still stop by my office and say they were glad to hear everything is cleared up, which is really nice, and it's good that they didn't want to continue the conversation as I'm pretty tired of talking about it. Of course, people ask questions and I figured if someone asked, maybe you want to know also.

1). Are you going to grow your hair back or stay bald?  My hair has just started to come back and I will grow it back. I think I will wear it a little shorter than I used to and the bald thing needs to go - it's too cold.

2). Will I read the Blog?  Hell no - I have No interest in remembering anything that happened or reading what I said.

3). Do I think, with time, the Chemo won't seem as bad as it was?  Although I think it's fair to say that time deminishes the pain of most things, I believe I will always look back on those 12 weeks as the most horrible thing I've ever gone through. Of course, I could be wrong and maybe as I get farther away from it, I will forget the physical aspect of it and only remember the good stuff which included the family support, support of friend and strangers, etc. I'd like to say that will be the case and it might be but not for a long time.

I think this cancer stuff is a little like school where there are a lot of questions and people just don't want ask them. So, I will open it up to questions. You can email or post on the blog and I will do my best to answer them.

I will get the port taken out next Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to it being out but not how they take it out. When the port was installed, I was knocked out and in surgery. To get it out, they numb the local area only, cut along the scar and pull it out. All the while I am aware of what is going on. They said it takes just a couple minutes and I hope there is a blindfold or something so I do not need to see any of it.

I'm traveling to Sacramento on Wed for a meeting and will be back Thursday night. I know it seems a little quick but they held off waiting for me.

Thanks for reading and I will post soon. There is some preliminary info on the 24 hours of hockey coming in this week and I will post the web page and more info.

Sam




Tuesday, January 29, 2008

As I mentioned last night, Jen and I visited with Reznick yesterday and the cancer is gone. According to the scan, there is still a small (3mm)mass in my left lung and Reznick is pretty clear that it is scar tissue and nothing to worry about. I will now start to see Reznick once a month and have scans every 2 months for the first year. After that, the visits will become every 3 months, then every 6 months and this will go on for 5 years. If there are no signs of the cancer during the next 4-5 years, they will officially declare the cancer in remission.

Obviously, this was this information we wanted to hear and there was a huge sense of relief knowing things are clear. At this moment, it's hard for me to even understand everything that has gone on over the past 4 months as I feel like I've just gotten out of the blender. The exciting thing is that I feel pretty good and the Dr. said I have no limitations so I expect things to continue getting better.

I'm not sure where to start in thanking people as there are so many and I fear leaving anyone out. Jennifer, the girls and I have had more support than you can imagine and it helped us get through this. Everyone in both of our families have been there when we needed them and we have called them a lot. Stewart Title has fed us and given Jennifer the flexibility to take time off and work remotely so she could get me to appointments. Mercury has given me time off and taken things off my plate so I could concentrate on getting better. In the next few days, I might attempt to acknowledge everyone and want to make sure I have a complete list before I start naming names. What I am comfortable doing is making a very honest statement and that is to thank everyone who has supported us as it would have been much harder without your contribution.

THANK YOU,

Sam

Monday, January 28, 2008

Dr appointment


Just returned from the Dr and the cancer is in remission. There is one spot still on my left lung and he said it is just scar tissue and nothing to be concerned with. As you can imagine, we are very excited with the news. I will post later with a photo as we are on our way to dinner to celebrate.

Sam


Friday, January 25, 2008

Day 82

Last March Addison was in the hospital for a couple days and there was something that happened during my stay that reminded me of her stay. The nurses work from 7 to 7 so twice a day, a new nurse came in and introduced themselves. At that point, they all did the same thing and asked me the exact same questions:  when did you find out you had cancer, what type of cancer, what type of chemo, when did it start, is it still going, when was it/will it be over, etc. This is not only the MOST annoying thing they could do, it's totally lacking efficeny. The first Nurse could have taken 3 minutes and filled something out and posted it on the door or in the file and I would not have needed to answer the questions again. I remember questioning the nurse during Addison's stay as to why everyone was asking us the same questions and her response was that it made it easier for them to work on a baby if they knew what was going on with them. Obviously the nurses don't care as their objective is to help you for 12 hours and they need the info but from a patient view, the system needs to be changed.

Over the course of the treatment, I have received so many shots and needle pokes that I stopped keeping track. It's just something you deal with and at one point on Saturday, they drew blood from the port, my left hand and my right arm for samples from different areas. So, on Sunday, a nurses came in and said I was going to get a white blood cell shot. I didn't think much of this as I've been getting the Neulasta every 3 weeks. She proceeded to lift my shirt and poke me on the left side of my belly. As she started to push the medicine in, I though I was going to scream. The Nurses at Reznicks office take their time and push the medicine in slow. I am clear that this nurse won the 2007 Gold medal for emptying a syringe in under a second with No concern for causing pain to the patient. This stuff burned so bad and I was squirming around like a fish (not sure what that could accomplish except maybe snapping the needle off) hoping to offset the pain. I couldn't touch the area of the shot and it hurt for about and hour. On Monday, a different nurse came in with some medicine and I saw the shot. I asked the nurse if she would go slower than the lady did on Sunday and she said she would.  She proceeded to poke me on the right side of my belly and started injecting the medicine. She went a little slower, but not much, and I repeated my fish moves to ease the pain. I can not think of anything as painful as these 2 shots in my belly and if they would have wanted to give me one on Tuesday, they might have needed to strap me down. There would have been NO way I would have let them do that again. This was the most painful part of the treatment. That might seems like a curious statment after 12 weeks of chemo but most of the time you feel sick although there is not a lot of direct pain.

I am feeling pretty good right now and have full intentions of going to work on Monday. I have scans today at 1pm and blood work after that.

Sam


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Day 81


Yesterday was the best day I've had in Months. It's a good feeling to catch a glimpse of being normal after what feels like a lifetime (even though it's only been 12 weeks) of feeling bad.

I tried to blog yesterday and must have written 500 words about the psycological effect of receiving blood from 4 different people and how many easy jokes were built into that process and the computer jammed up. So, I'm not sure I am up for writing it all over again but I did want to address it.  It's a little strange for me to start thinking about the blood and where it comes from. So if I do anything really strange over the next 90 days, I will blame it on the blood......    By the way, give blood, it saves lives.

As Jen wrote the other day, we missed the Celebration for Greg. That was really hard for me and I hope to meet his family and friends at some point.

I am scheduled for some scans tomorrow and have a nice big bottle of apple flavored contrast chilling in the fridge. The good thing is that I see Reznick on Monday at 3pm and my expectation is that he will have reviewed the scans and will tell me we are cancer free. At this moment, I can not imagine hearing anything else.

When they weighed me in the hospital, I weighed 30 lbs less than when this process started. I will post a before and after photo on Sunday, the final day of the treatment.

Sam



Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Day 80 - Home from Hospital

I'm happy to report that Sam is home from the hospital. He made a quick turn around yesterday so they released him late in the afternoon. His fever broke and stabilized without medication and his counts are all climbing at an acceptable rate, indicating the transfusion was successful. He's feeling pretty good this morning, although the ever present after effects of chemo are lingering (bad taste in his mouth;bubble in the throat/indigestion, etc). He'll rest today and if feeling up to it, will post himself later.
Thank you for your continued support. It means alot to us knowing we have cheerleaders out there pulling for him. Jennifer

PS ~ Maizy is very happy he's home and is following him around like a shadow.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Day 78


Just saw the Dr and he said I will be here until Tuesday....maybe Wednesday depending on how quickly my blood numbers come back.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Day 77-the transfusion

As Sam mentioned briefly he is in the hospital.  He started having pressure in his head, pain in his head, vision problems, and the always present high pulse on Thursday.  It worsened as time went on so on Friday we went to have his blood drawn to see where his counts were.  The suspicion was that he needed a blood  transfusion.  We unfortunately did not get the results back on Friday as expected and so when Saturday rolled around he was suffering.  We ended up at the emergency room that has provided his weekend hydration and they were quick to find out that Sam's blood counts were dangerously low.  I think they were surprised that he walked into the ER on his own two feet.  They quickly make arrangements for Sam to be admitted to the hospital where he had chemo and was transported by ambulance and admitted.
As of tonight, Sunday night, he has had 4 units of blood transfused and has had numerous bags of fluid and antibiotics for a blood infection which started before the transfusion when his counts were depleted.  He has regained color in his face but is still fighting fever (from the blood infection) and bouts of nausea.  We will know more in the morning but know that his blood counts need to reach a certain level and he has to break this fever for good before being discharged.  We have no idea how long it will take to accomplish this but hope it's sooner rather than later.
We were sad to miss Greg's celebration of life yesterday but we were there in spirit.
Thank you again for the support.  As you can imagine Sam is eager to put this chapter behind him.  We appreciate everyone's help and know that words will never effectively communicate what it means to us to have this incredible support system.
We will post more as we know it ...

Jennifer

Sunday morning


I woke up this morning in Parker hospital after being admitted last night. I've had a blood transfusion and feel a "little" better.  We are waiting to talk with the Dr this morning to see what's next.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Day 75

Well, it's pretty early on Friday morning and I was unable to sleep. Did anyone see Rick Nash's (Columbus Blue Jacket Hockey player)goal? It was Amazing and worth seeing. If you need me to, I will put a link to it on YouTube.

I just titled the this post "Day 75" as I have been gearing everything on this 4 cycle, 84 day chemo plan Reznick has me on. I am now down to 9 days left but I am not sure what to expect on Day 85. I will go back to work and I have an appointment with Reznick that day to see if the scan are clear and I am going to stop counting days. Otherwise, when do I stop.... I am not going to be writing and I'm sure you will not be interested in reading this at Day 648.

So, in the spirit of full disclosure, there have been some issues that I have kept off the blog. I realize that I promised you a truthful, honest view of chemo and somewhere in all of this, I have kept a couple things personal and private. Although all of you laughed at the toilet scene in "Dumb and Dumber", It's not the type of thing I want to share with you as this experience has been filled with laxatives and stool softeners. With all that said, I believe I have missed something over the course of the chemo that might be important to anyone in the future who is going through this. The chemo jams you up and the Dr. suggest the laxatives and stool softeners and want to know when you go more than 3 days without a Bowel Movement. So, the start of this week was VERY tough and I was sick each day and night. I woke up around midnight on Wednesday to use the restroom and ended up in there a couple times that morning. The interesting and important thing is that I instantly felt better, have not gotten sick since and have been able to eat. Although I do not remember if this was the same over the first 3 cycles, it was very clear to me how important it is to get all the chemical out of the body as quickly as possible. If you know someone going through this, make sure they keep up with their BM's as that keeps the body free of the posion.

Jennifer and I plan on attending Greg's Service on Saturday afternoon. I've not been able to read the web page yet and plan to before Saturday.



Sam

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Day 74


I've woken up today feeling better than I have in a long time. I think the throwing up is over with and we might be on the slow climb back to being healthy. I'm still worried about being anemic as I can't go the 15 steps from our family room to the bedroom without being out of breath and I will take a blood test next Friday and discuss with Reznick at the next appointment on the 28th. The least it means is the Aerones shot the most is getting a couple bags of blood.

I talked with Shawn Patrick from 9news last night about a testicular carcer segment they had planned for last night. He wanted to come out to the house within the hour and set up to talk and I was not ready to do it that quick. I spent 3.5 hours getting fluid yesterday and was a little worn out. Anyway, with the NeNe news, they wanted to do a story on TC and I am sure some of you saw it.  It said 1 in 500 men get it and there is a 5 year 96 percent recovery rate. The most important part is getting guys to talk about it and understand their responsibily and that it is similar to women doing a breast exam. If one person can catch it before it spreads, it's SOOO much easier. A couple guys I know have gotten their physicals and I'm glad to hear it.


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Day 73

I was hoping to schedule the follow up chest scan for early next week but they can only see me on Friday the 25th at 9am. That means I will not know results until the 28th, at best. As you can imagine, I'm pretty interested to see if the past 11 nightmare weeks have cleaned this crap up. Reznick is pretty sure it did as he is also looking at the blood markers and they have cleared it.

I had another evening of throwing up and was given the option of going to the ER or witing until later this morning and getting fluids from Reznick. I chose to wait and will go in at 10 for a couple hours. I'd really hoped I was done sitting in there but I need some help and they are much better than the er.

I've heard from 3 different people that Greg was settled when he passed and that provides me great comfort. I can't type this out without tears filling my eyes and, at the right time, I look forward to meeting some of his family and friends.

Another thing I'm looking forward to is eating some El Pollo Loco. I had it the weekend before treatment started and have stayed away (because everything tastes strange) and I do NOT want to ruin the EPL. So, I am starting to think about it, which is good, and wondering when is the right time to plan a trip over to South Federal. It might be as early as the weekend of the 26th..........  This might not seem like a big deal if you are in Cali as you can find EPL's evey mile or so but it's 33 miles round trip from my house.

The hi temp is expecting to be around 16 today with a low around 0. That makes for a long day.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Day 72

Last night was really rough and I am glad I have the day to rest. Not long after 8pm I got really sick and it wiped me out. The bad thing was that it happened twice and I didn't think I had anything left for the 2nd round but I did. It was hard to get to sleep and I still feel really crappy.

A while ago I mentioned Greg and posted a link to his site. The week after I started treatment, he was diagonsed with some severe cancer that had spread through his body. Greg passed away on Sunday afternoon and, although I do not know the details, I tell myself that he was with his family and not in any pain. I have not been able to check his web page yet as it would be too hard to read about it. As I feel stronger, I will read it but I'm not ready for that emotion right now.

Jen and I went in for the Neulasta shot yesterday and ran into Gary and his wife Julie. I mentioned him early on when they were taking some jazz out of his head. It turns out that he was on a similar schedule as I was and we saw each other every 3 weeks. Well, yesterday was pretty much my last day and, for the first time, we asked him what he had going on. It's pretty severe with stem cells and a transplant and months of treatment. Again, it's hard to feel lucky right now feeling as I do but I realize it's true and I am pretty lucky. This could have been much worse and I'm really fortunate that it wasn't.  I do hope Gary is able to get through this as he is a very nice guy and someone I will check in on.

I am going to try and sleep for a couple hours.

Sam


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Day 70


It's been a long weekend as I have gone to Centennial hospital both days for hydration. Yesterday they gave me anti nausea and it totally wound me up so they gave me something to knock me out and it did. I was home Saturday at noon and got out of bed on Sunday morning. Today seemed better but I got sick this evening and lost a lot of liquids. I will be at Reznicks tomorrow for a shot and will see if they think I should take more fluids. They have gone into the port for 7 straight days and it's pretty sore although it's still better than being dehydrated.  I'm really just looking to add days since then end of treatment as I know the more time there is, the better I will feel. It does feel good, especially with how I feel right now, to have the pressure of work off my plate for 2 weeks.  At some point, I hope my arms and legs catch up as I am so tired and sore right now. I'm not confident that I could walk around the block as my legs are exhausted. I'm not sure that there is anything I can do to help with the exception of resting.

So, that is all for tonight. I am currently downstairs watching some tv knowing tonight will be a long one. There are these awful burps associated with my treatment and each one makes me question if I will throw up. Like I said earlier, adding days since treatment will help and I look forward to tomorrow.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I'm Done.




Day 68

I am getting ready to go upstairs for the last day of Chemo treatment. As you might be able to imagine, this is pretty exciting although not as much as when the day is over. Just about 6 hours left....

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Late Day 66

It's late Wednesday night and I'm up to get something to drink. The past 2 days of chemo have been the same with me sleeping most of the time. I'd imagine it's like the last couple days od a jail sentence and I'm just trying to get through it.  2 more days of treatment and it should be over and that is exciting. I hope for the best over the next 5-7 calendar days as those tend to be the toughest days.

Sam



Monday, January 7, 2008

Day 64.1


I talked with Reznick and he said it would take 3-6 months for me to be back to normal. He said the heavy metals stay in the body for a while.

I've also been told that I'm very close to being classified as anemic. That means my body is not creating enough Red Blood cells. I am now getting a new medication to help generate red blood cells and it's called Aranesp and it's only about $3000 a shot and I only need to one I'm getting today. This condition is not a normal thing for me and is a condition of the chemo. In the most extreme cases, a blood transfusion is necessary. They do not feel that I am in that catagory.

So, I've got a couple minutes left for today and then we are heading home. Jen and I watched the Bourne Ultimatum and it was pretty good. We have the Hoax for tomorrow.

I will try to post tomorrow.

Sam




 Aranesp
Sam Williams

Day 64

I am at the oncologist office waiting to meet with Reznick before starting treatment. I can not define how I currently feel as I have about 5 percent excitment about this being the final round and 95 percent dread about having another round to complete.  It's like entering the 4th round of a fight with Mike Tyson (circa 1986 not 2007) and knowing I am not going to throw a punch and will stand there taking a beating. Does that sound like fun to you? Ya, i didn't think so.

My hair is just starting to grow back and now I will get Etoposide again and it will kill the hair. One question I have for Reznick is the timing of full recovery and being back to normal. I feel about 80 percent today and think another 2 or 3 weeks would get me back to normal.

He is on his way into the room and i will write later.

20 days left......
Sam Williams

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Very Early on Day 63

I was having a hard time sleeping tonight and came down to the computer for the first time in a few days. I was looking at Saturday's hockey scores and then decided to go to Greg Liptak's page and check on him. I had some info about Greg on the blog a few weeks ago and then took it down and I just left the link to his blog. Greg is currently in Hospice and resting comfortably with his family. Greg's parents left a post on Friday and talked about educating people to get checked for colon cancer before it's too late. It sounds like many of Greg's friends are now getting checked and that is a little good news in this sad time. I wish Greg and his family the best.

Today marks the last day of the 3rd cycle(Day 21) and tomorrow will be the start of the 4th and final round of chemo.I'm not really sure what to say about it. Of course, I am looking forward to it being over but... I also realize what the next 2+ weeks will be like. I don't really have anything to say about any of this and just want to get it over with.

I will post again on Monday.
Sam

Thursday, January 3, 2008

January 3rd

I do not remember what "day" it is and don't have a calendar handy.

I've been working and it's gone pretty well. Although I feel good, it's far from 100 percent and there are many little things still going on. I've been eating a little better but that is a crapshoot as some things seem okay and make me feel sick later. We ate some pasta last night and felt sick almost instantly. I took the anti nausea medicine and went to bed at 630pm. I'll be at work tomorrow until noon and then I have a 1pm breathing test the goes for one and a half hours. I will then go to the lab and give blood to get ready for the 4th and final round of chemo and that starts next Monday.

Since the 3rd round really knocked me out for the first 14 days, i've decided to take the final 3 weeks of treatment off work so I can get through this without worrying about anything other than my health. With the current state of the title insurance industry, this was a very tough decision as things are not great and it's hard to ask for 3 more weeks off. I am fortunate and have the support of my management which makes this much easier.  I do have short term disability and will get some compensation for those days off. At this point, I do not know if that is a full amount or a percentage of pay and right now, either is fine as we just want to get past this.

I talk with someone at the office today whose father was recently diagnosed and it's pretty bad. He's already had some surgery and the dr's have yet to give him a recovery percentage. From the start, i have know that my cancer is 85-95 percent curable. It would suck to go through any of this without knowing your chance of survival.

Hope everyone had a safe New Year and 2008 is starting off well.


Sam Williams