Happy New Year

Just wanted to take a moment and wish everyone a Happy New Year. Although I typically dont make resolutions and put much into the potential of a new year, 2007 has been pretty tough with Addison getting sick last spring and my illness since the end of September. On thing I see in the Dr's office is a sign that states that Cancer can't take away your hope so, with that said, I am hopeful for a healthy 2008 for everyone. I'm not sure if people tell me cancer stories because of my condition or because there are just SO many of them. Hopefully, my children will get a shot to prevent cancer so they do not experience this crap (although I have already made the concession to go through this so they dont have to but there is no one with any paperwork to back that up and never will be.......).

Next week is the final week of chemo treatment. Deep down, I have a lot of excitement about that but know there will be 14+ days that really suck before it's done. The past 9 weeks have not gone quickly and I anticipate the final 3 to be tough.

Thank you again to everyone that reads this and thinks about me and the family. We appreciate all that everyone has done as we would not have been able to get through this without your support.

Here's to a happy and Healthy 2008.

Sam


Sam Williams

Day 53

Well, I left the house at 740am to head into the office for the first time in a while. It was snowing pretty hard and it took me just over an hour to go the 11 miles. Pretty typical of everyones drive today. By the time I got into the office I was exhausted. We are on the 2nd floor of a 2 story building and the stairs, cold and drive made me sit down for a minute before getting started. I had a 10am meeting and 1130 call on the calendar and was able to get through both of those before heading home. I left the office just before 1 and was able to make it home in 45 minutes and was able to take a solid nap from 2-3pm. I have a pretty good headache going and am drinking as much as I can to stay hydrated. I plan on working tomorrow for as long as I can and feel good about next week, although you never know.

I did hear that Ross Smith, former president of Security Title passed away. Although I didn't know him well, he treated me like we were old friends and I had to ask some people who knew him well if it was genuine. They said that is exactley who he is and it's such a rare trait. I'm not sure when his cancer was diagonised and I know it was pretty bad. I was told that he was aware of his family being with him and that is a good thought.

I'm still struggling with food as I can't find many things that dont upset my stomach. Apple sauce and yogart have been good but I get tired of it. I had Miso soup and sesame tofu yesterday and it was okay and I ended up taking the nausea medicine after eating just a little. The next time I really enjoy eating something will seem like the first time as it all tastes like crap. There are times when it feels like nothing is going on and then all of the sudden, I will have stomach problems or burp or feel sick and it just feels so random. I just want to know when I will feel NORMAL? Will it take all of February or March or will this linger for months? I will ask Reznick as he can give me a guide and I am really clear that everyone is very different.

I think I will be eating a lot when I feel better and it starts to taste good again.
Sam Williams

Day 52

I would like to apologize to everyone for the time between posts. The end of last week, including spending both Saturday and Sunday at Centennial Hospital ER for fluids (planned ahead)were exhausting and it ran right into the holidays and a Monday appointment with Reznick. Jennifer was extremely sick and ended up in the ER on Wednesday and it took her the whole week to feel better.It was another rough weekend and even though the days are passing, it's pretty tough. With this past weekend, it was also hard because of the holidays and it being "the most wonderful time of the year" and wanting to participate even though I was not feeling well. The best part was the snow on Christmas day as there was no reason for us to go anywhere or do anything other then spend the day together.


Many of you called, emailed or sent your thoughts and we truly appreciate it. The girls received many nice things from a lot of people and I can't thank you enough for thinking of them. Although we do our best to keep the spirits up around here, there are times when it's hard, as it was last week, and the constant support is great. It's still hard to talk with people on the phone as it's usually an emotional conversation and with the holiday's, it's been impossible. I just can't talk about it anymore and most people want to ask about it. Although it's probably hard for you, it's much better for me not to have conversations about what is going on. If I can do a better job with the blog, I will as that will keep everyone informed. Although the extra fluid did help at the end of the chemo week, all the other things are a little stronger than they were in the 2nd cycle which was a little tougher than the first. Eating seems impossible as nothing is working.

I have been having pain in my left heal and it's caused me to start walking on the ball of my foot. It's worse in the morning and last for a few hours before starting to back off. I talked with Reznick on Monday and it's not something he is concerned with except for my physical pain. It's something that I should take otc pain relief for to help. At this point, my foot looks like skin and bones as do my legs as they are pretty thin. All of my clothes are loose and my shoes are fitting differently now. On Monday, I got the Neulesta shot so I should anticipate a crappy Saturday afternoon-Sunday morning as the past 2 cycles have been pretty painful. It's not the aching pain on Thursday-Saturday that is bad, it's the end of the whole thing where I have had a lot of sharp direct pain. As you can tell, the whole Chemo/Treatment thing is not pleasant from start to finish and these are just some of the little things we deal with.

I am back to the office tomorrow and looking forward to it. It's tough to find that balance of being a cancer patient and having a normal life. I realize that in the scheme of things, 12 weeks is nothing but when you are in the middle of it, it feels endless.

Day 44

Today was a very busy one for the Rocky Mountain cancer center. The 6 seats were full and they had 2 people getting treatment on the side. I was there at 950am and left at 310pm. I usually do not sleep but was able to for a few hours and it really helped pass the time. Its a little strange when you open your eyes (i had a hat over my eyes) as there were 4 new people there. I am not sure about the extra fluid yet as it doesn't "really" suck until Thursday and Friday. The first couple days leave you tired and worn out and the end of the week is where it knocks me out. I have driven myself to treatment this week as Jennifer is very sick. In the 11 years I have known her i've never seen her have it this bad. She is getting better but it's slow. Don't be surprised if I call you for a ride this week as I'm not sure it's good for me to drive the rest of the week. Dont forget, i blew through the garage door on Wed of chemo week # 1.

I've been told not to eat  sweet, sugar filled things and at the Dr office, there must be 10 or 12 tins, boxs and bags of goodies. Not that I expect people to show up with the Cancer Diet of "B.R.A.T." Which stands for banana's, rice, apple sauce and toast but doesn't that sound harmful? I'm not sending a bottle of gin to the AA or cupcakes to weightwatchers.

Reznick stopped by to see me today and said the scans looked good and we will discuss on Friday when I have an office visit. I didn't let on that his nurse has already let me ready the report.

Since I was unhappy with blockbusters online dvd rentals and cancelled the service, I am watching James Bond during treatment. As you know, the Ultimate Bond collection represents 95 percent of my dvd's so there is a lot to choose from. Yesterday i watched Goldfinger, which is my favorite. There are a few scenes where VW bugs are driving in the background and I love to see those old bugs.  Today, I followed it up with Thunderball, which I like except for the name. Everything about the movie is good including the villans, locations, women and gadgets but the name never struck me. Probably to late to do anything about it.

It's kind of strange as the hair on my head is slowly growing. I have some very light stubble which surprises me.  Not sure if/when it will fall out or, i will shave by the time I go back to the office. Do you know they have a razor made just for your head? I saw it at Walmart but did not buy it.

Anyway, although there are 40 days left untul the end of the 4th cycle, i feel like it's really less than that. If I start to feel okay onday 14 or 15 of the cycle, that means there are really 33 or 34 days left. That is how I am looking at it although the cumlitative effects might be rougher after the 4th course.

I had a post the other day that referenced Greg. I was very emotional and only a few people saw it before I took it down. Greg is a friend of a friend and he found out he has cancer a week after my treatment started. Please check out his web page and send him some good vibes.

Thanks for listening to me. I cant stress enough haw nice it is to get all the calls, cards and emails. As I have mentioned before, it's really hard to talk with people as it's really easy for me to get emotional and have a hard time talking. I'm sure most of us will have time to catch up when you take me golfing or to an Avs playoff game or something else this spring or summer.

Sam





Sam Williams

Day 43 and scan

I am sitting in chemo and currently the only one here. Although I was scheduled to come in at 1pm, they called around 830am and asked that I come in as early as possible. I'm on the last bag that is only extra hydration and I have about an hour to go. I'm more than willing to get through this last hour as I believe it will really help me.

Yesterday marked the half way point of the treatment and I had a ton to say. I really wanted to get on the computer and talk with everyone as this whole experience has been unbelievable in both good and bad ways. Obviously, i never made it and, depending on how I feel this week, will try and catch up later. Jen went to see the Dr this morning and she has Strep throat and she was down most of Sunday and today. I drove to treatment today and will get myself home and am lucky that it is early in the week and I can do this. By thursday or friday, I would not be able to make the drive. Last time i drove on a thursday, i busted through the garage door. I'm going to stop and get Jen prescription on the way home and hope she will be better soon.

I have not had the chance to see Reznick today so I asked the Nurse (i will not name her so she does not get in trouble) about my scans and she pulled the paperwork. She told me that Reznick will go over it with me on Friday. Although I am not an M.D., I was able to see that the node has shrunk to 8mm x 9mm and is back to normal size and the lung scan noted that the sizes of the tumors are much smaller although still present. One of the made measured 1.1 cm and it was now down to 4mm. I believe this is good news and will know more when I talk with Reznick on Friday.

At one point I stopped acknowledging how many days are left and now, since the number is less than the current day, it seems important again.

41 days to go.....


Sam Williams

Day 38 and Greg

Right now, I am feeling about 85%. I'd like to say the percentage is higher but I am aware of some things that are still night right. Jennifer and I were talking and I told her my head was clear and then proceeded to tell her a story where she needed to go back and ask me a bunch of questions. By the questions she was asking, it was clear to me that I had not done a good job of explaining the situation. Although it's exciting to be at 85%, it's like getting close to the top of the mountain and knowing you are going to get knocked down. 6 Weeks from now, I will be really excited as I know that when I recover from the 4th cycle, that is it.

I had an office visit with Reznick yesterday and it was good because he added almost a liter of extra fluid to each day's chemo with the hope of avoiding the dehydration and some of the other side affects. As we have discussed, the treatment needs tweaking and I hope this adjustment will make it easier. (I know, I know.... most of you think I am soft already and just a big crybaby....) During the visit Reznick said I need to get in for blood work and CT scans of my pelvic area and lungs. He also asked if I ever followed up with Dr. Forester, the breathing Dr and I told him I had not as it's been really busy in the office and I had some things to take care of. He, as the Dr, very clearly said that my health is also important and not to neglect these appointments. Trust me, I understand the importance of the medical stuff and it's really hard as I only have a couple of productive days at work (which is big to me for many reasons most importantly their support for of my condition and treatment schedule) and I want to maximize that time. He didn't really go for it and had his office schedule the scans and they were only able to get me in on Friday at 11:45am. It's not terrible as the total time for the scans should only be about ½ hour. It's just tough as there is little flow to the time I am at the office and I feel as though I am missing so much. The good news is that Reznick told me his expectation of the scans and that would be to see the Lymph node back to the normal size of 1cm and very little evidence of the 11 lung tumors. He feels this way because of the past blood work and the tumor markers. Of course, I hope he is correct as he stated that we would be having a different conversation if they are still as prevalent as they were at the time of the first scan. Having a pelvic scan means another bottle of the awful white paste drink known as contrast. This time they gave me one apple flavored bottle and I am okay with that as my first scan required that I drink 2 bottles.


http://www.gregliptak.com/


I hate to be the guy who stands on a soap box and yells to all of you so I will say this as a friend: Please get in for a check up and do not ignore the signs your body sends. The longer you wait.....

Sam

Day 36

It's the beginning of the 6th week and there are 6 weeks remaining. I am back in Chemo next week and hope that this one will be a little different than the past 2 treatment weeks. At this point, I plan on going Monday through Friday for treatment and then on Saturday and Sunday for hydration. That, hopefully, should help me as the weekend following treatment I have struggled to drink enough. It's hard to explain the taste of water as the poison ruins everything. It's been 10 days since the last treatment and things still do not taste right. I tried to drink some Gatorade one day and it tasted the way lotion smells. It's just brutal as you need to drink and eat and it is a struggle to get food down.

I've had a real hard time talking about this lately and you have probably noticed the lack of posts. Although I have a lot to say, It's really hard for me to transfer it to words on the blog. As I said before, I will do the best I can to let everyone know what is going.

Thanks again for checking in and thinking about us.

Sam

Day 33

I have worked some over the past 2 days and expect to be back at work again today for a while. As I am learning, the effect of the treatment is hitting everything and I am not feeling great. I'm still having a hard time sleeping, staying hydrated, eating, seeing, etc. I cant say that anything about how I feel right now is normal and it really affects everything to do with my body. My chest is pretty sore right now from the Neulasta shot and I expect that to slow down this weekend.

Anyway, I am plugging through and hoping next week will be better.

Sam

Day 30.1

I am back at the Dr office for more liquid. It's been a pretty decent day as I've eaten lunch for the first time in a week. I was able to get on my work computer and catch up as I expect to be back in the office tomorrow. I will be happy if I can work the next 8 days before the next chemo week. It makes things seem "normal" although i am experiencing not having any hair and that is interesting. i ended up shaving it because there were so spots where there was no hair and others where there was a little so i just tried to clean it up. Of course, like all of this, there is no consistency and some spots seem to still grow while others are not. I might need to google "shaving your head" as it probably has some good tips.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 30

I had a coupke Dr appointments yesterday and was only able to keep my 1140 with Reznick as he did not let me leave his office because I was dehydrated. After our visit, he put me in a chair and gave me 3 liters of liquids which took over 4 hours. I need to go back today for more as I have not been getting enough even though i try to drink as much as i can, i am still falliing way short.

He thinks the best thing for me to try after the next chemo week is to go in on Sat and Sun and get saline to lift my hydragation. We will try it next time as it can only help.

i was weighed yesterday and I am down 20 from my first office visit. That was beforer 4 hours of iv liquids and i am sure that added a few back on.

I expect to work tomorrow and look forward to it. it will be a cery welcome change to my current routine.

As always, i want to thank everyone for the calls, cards, emails, etc and appreciate that you understand when i'm not feeling up to talking or writing.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 28

Had a short visit with Heather as I just didnt have the energy. Although this weekend has been tough, it is not as bad as the first cycle, I am just really tired.

Sorry for the lack of communication on the blog. It's not been much of a priority the past few days and I know some of you check it frequently. I will do my best to keep up with it as it's felt like a little bit of a burden.

Sam



Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Hello from Heather

With having many visits to Colorado under my belt, this one was very different. I came without David or Evan to see Sam, and get a feel for myself about what his treatment is like and how he is doing. I worked myself up this week about what I would find when I get here and was pleasantly surprised.

Sam, still looks like Sam..better then I expected given the circumstances. He has lost his hair and he is definitely feeling the fatigue of the treatment and the drugs. It was a strange reality to find the difference between the up-beat blog postings and what I have found. When Sam says's he had a different day and rested, that could actually mean that he did not have the energy or the strength to do anything, not that he was just taking it easy. In that regard the blog although it is the first thing I check when I turn on my computer in the morning and the last thing I check at the end of the day, may be tinged with a lighter version of how he is feeling. My interpretation of the last few posting's were that he was just "taking it easy,"not so much out of need as want and it is in fact the opposite.

I went with Sam to Chemo and was touched by the caring staff and how they banter with him as all of us do. After talking to Jen, I got a better picture of that too. In that, I mean that they are consist ant in their attitude and mood which leaves a lot of room for the patients to be..however they are that day, good, bad, grumpy or quiet. They do not take it personally. I can honestly say that after seeing this I am grateful to them for taking such great care of both Sam and Jen during this time.

I am also touched by both Sam and Jen strength. I am happy to know that Mom and Steve are so close and can help with the girls so much and that Jen also has such great support from her family during this challenging time when we are so far away and can do so little to help.

On a bright note, I am going to go spend the day with Mom, Addison and Briley ~ something I rarely get to do. I am sorry Evan and David are not here to be with them too as Evan gets so excited to see Briley and he has not got to spend much time with Addy, next time!

Thank you all for your constant support of Sam and Jen, it means the world to me too!

With much love,

Heather

Day 25

Yesterday was very different as I spent most of the time sleeping or resting. I was not feeling great and the Dr was able to give me a different script for some naeusea medication and it seemed to work well. After the treatment, I went home and slept for a couple hours and then watched some holiday shows with the kids and then went back to sleep. I'm feeling okay today and I am at the point where it started to get bad during the first cycle. Drinking water and juice taste like crap but I need to stay hydrated and there is nothing I want to eat.

Heather will be in town tomorrow and will be able to get a good understanding of what this is like. Right now, it's mainly resting as it wears you out.

We did watch 2 movies this week, Inside Man and Deja Vu, both with Denzel Washington. They were both pretty good and, if I am up to it today, I might watch Breach.

Talk to you soon.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Days 23 and 24

This morning, I am feeling pretty nauseous and not looking forward to another day of medicine. Although it's been a pretty "easy"week so far, I am about to go into days 3-5 and that is when it gets tough.

Yesterday, I did get good news from Reznick. On September 28th, the day I was diagnosed, I gave blood and my beta-hcg count was 287. At that point, they told me that anything under 1000 was considered good risk (in Lance Armstrong's book, he said his was 109,000) and the idea number was under 2. I gave blood on Friday and yesterday heard that my beta-hcg was back under 2 and I felt like it happened quicker than the Dr. expected. This gave me the opportunity to talk with him about cutting the treatment to 3 cycles since everything was going so well and I am not sure how well that went over. I have an appointment with him on Monday and will ask again. After this cycle of chemo and before the next, I will have more scans to see how the treatment is going and that, more than my asking about cutting the treatment short, will determine how many courses we will have.

After yesterday chemo, I went to another breathing specialist as they are still concerned about my higher than normal pulse and the low O2 consumption. On Monday, I am scheduled to do another round of breathing tests at his office and he felt like I might have taken a bad test the first time and he wants me to repeat it to see if we get different results.

That is about it for now. Thank you again for the emails, cards and calls.

Pictures below are of the Chemo area, Addison at Colorado's only El Pollo Loco and Jen&Briley.

Sam

Day 22

I'm currently hooked up to a bag of Etoposide. It's the medication the causes hair loss and it's coming out pretty quickly. On the way in this morning, I felt total Dread for having to be here. If you can just think about the thing you dislike the most and then double or triple it and you will know what I was feeling. It's like anything else and the anticipation can make you crazy.  I dont excpect today to be bad but I know it's coming as I feel different already.

I was down about 10lbs from the start of treatment and know that I will not be able to eat much this week and some of next. So, last night, we ordered some pizza and wings and this morning I had some leftover turkey (which, if you know me, is pretty rare that I eat anything leftover) which was nice.

Heather will be in Town on Friday and we are all looking forward to seeing her.

I do have a photo of the chemo area and I will try to post tonight.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 21 and 1st Course stats

Today is the last day of the first course and tomorrow morning, I am back in treatment. There have been days that were better then I expected and a couple that have been worse. Although it's nice going in knowing what the week will be like, it not something you look forward too.

I've kept track of a lot of things over the past 21 days and here are some of the numbers:

Medication taken (not counting anything given at chemo):

• Tylenol: 12 pills
• Tums: 10 chewable tablets
• Tylenol SS: 18 pills (OTC sleep aid)
• Ativan: 1 pill (to help sleep - it didn't work)
• Compazine: 5 pills (anti nausea)
• Senokot: 5 pills (laxative)
• Protonix: 1 pill (Used for acid reflux)

Dr. Visits:

• 9 - Visits to Dr. Reznick's office (During 15 working day course)
• 1 - visit to the ER
• 1 - CT Scan of chest
• 1 - Echo cardiograph
• 9 - needle pokes for blood

Miscellaneous numbers:

• 6 - Number of days I made it to the office
• 1 - Times blacked out and hit head on nightstand
• 42 - Number of DVD's in Ultimate James Bond Collection
• 46 - Number of DVD's in my "personal" collection after receiving Bond dvds
• 10 - Number of books I have received
• 2 - number of times I threw up
• 5 - Hours we spent in ER
• 1 - times my temperature went above 100.5
• 1 - Wahl hair trimmer purchased
• 60 - average Blog visitors a day
• 21 - days I have not felt normal
• 2 - Bleomycin treatments received before Dr stopped giving me drug for fear of long term breathing problems.
• 63 - days of "treatment" left

Here is a photo taken on Thanksgiving of the family.

Day 19.1

They had a hard time getting my blood and they went into both arms and my hand. They poked me 4 times to take 3 small blood samples.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 19

We spent yesterday at home and had a nice day.

One of the things I have learned is that with everything they tell you (you are going to lose your hair) there is another side they dont mention like the fact that it is painful. Having never gone through this, I wouldn't have even thought about it being uncomfortable but, whenever I rub my head against the way hair grows, it feels like needles sticking into my head. Of course, this is pretty avoidable during the day but not so much at night when I am trying to sleep. I was laying on the floor and Addison was on my back and she rubbed my head and it was really painful. I'm guessing this will be short lived as I can pull hairs out with my fingers.

Anyway, next round of treatment begins on Monday. I've got to give blood today so they can check my markers before treatment.

Sam




Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 17

Jennifer and I saw Reznick yesterday and talked about the treatment. We are no longer going to use Bleomycin (Every Tuesday Treatment) as he believes I have a negative reaction to it. Was it the fever that made me black out or the fact that I threw up all over the hospital bathroom that opened his eyes?? He has also asked me to start including Benzodiazepins on my list of medicines that I am allergic to. These medicines include Valium, Xanax and the one he gave me, Ativan and I was unable to rest after taking it. At this point, I will give blood on Friday and have a chemo schedule for all next week and it's back to the EP protocol. After Treatment on Tuesday, I will go see Dr. Forrester and he is a pulmonary guy that Reznick wants me to see. He is still concerned about the oxygen retention as I took that test prior to any chemo treatment and the results were below average.

Addison was not feeling well yesterday and Jennifer took her to Dr. She has a fever and because of a few things, including my condition, they put her on an antibiotic. We decided it was the best thing for me to go over to my Mom's house and stay the night as I needed a good night's rest and need to avoid getting Addy's sickness. It was a good night as I was able to sleep for 8 hours (with some sleep aid) and I feel pretty rested. The unfortunate thing is that my hair is starting to come out and it's happening pretty quickly. As I was making the bed, I noticed a ton of hair on the pillow cover so I rubbed my hand across the back of my head and it there was a lot of hair on my hand. I think we will cut it off tonight as I do not want to deal with it.

We woke up to some snow here in CO and the forecast is for the temps to be right around freezing until Saturday.

I again want to thank everyone for all the support and most importantly, for your friendship. Happy Thanksgiving.

Sam

Day 16

As I mentioned yesterday, I feel pretty normal right now. I worked a full day on Monday, getting to the office just after 7am and I didn't leave until after 4pm. I might have pushed it a little and I am okay with that as I'm back out of it next week. That is pretty tough right now as I am just getting up to speed on a few things and I know I will be back out all next week.

Although I have not wanted to individually list out people who have supported us for fear of missing anyone, we have received so much that I cant let it go unnoticed. I want to thank the Stewart Guaranty department for the huge basket of goodies. The response from Stewart Title of Denver and all of their employees has been incredible. They have filled our fridge with good food and have allowed Jennifer whatever she needs. Thank you.

Of course, all the members of our immediate families have been great with the girls and food and everything. Julie, Jennifer's sister, provided me with a Staples (office Supply) easy button. Yea, just like the commercial. Next week, I see that the chemo nurses and other patients are going to get very tired of that button. Unfortunately, it does not work as well as it does on tv.

I have heard that people think the Furminator thing was funny. I was not trying to be funny.

Sam

Day 15 and a new poll

Sunday was pretty interesting as I was feeling a considerable amount of bone pain. In the past few days, there had been some discomfort and soreness but not pain like I felt yesterday. I was able to take something that helped but did not take it entirely away.


I would like to thank Paul and Donna for coming over and painting the garage. At one point in her life, Donna was a professional house painter and I knew they would do a better job than I would and they were kind enough to take care of it for us.

I heard Briley singing in the basement on Sunday and I tried to sneak down there with the camera to take a video. She heard the stairs squeak and got upset with me for doing it and when I told her the video was going on the blog, she got angry. So, here is my dilemma. Do I show the video because I think it is funny even though I understand she will get "Angry" with me. I believe it's more embarrassed than angry but I don't want to scare her. Obviously, she will make a big deal about it even though she likes the air time. There is a new poll at the top of the page and I can not guarantee that I will upload the video even if it's a unanimous decision. I am sure anyone who was a 12 year old girl or lived with a 12 year old girl can understand why.

Sam

Day 14

There was a big chance to my treatment that I just forgot to mention after Turbulent Tuesday. Because of the breathing problems I have had, the Dr. want to stop using Bleomycin as there is a risk of long term problems. At this point, I do not know what that means for the big picture including the length of treatment, drugs being used, etc as it's possible somethings could change. I will know more on Tuesday as I have a 3:30pm appointment with the Dr. I am really okay with the decision to not use the Bleo as last Tuesday was the first Bleo only (the need was to go to the Dr. for Bleo only every Tuesday for the length of treatment) appointment and it resulted in a trip to the ER, throwing up in the hospital bathroom and a very sore throat.

One of the know side affects of Etoposide is hair loss. They told me how it works as the medicine kills the good cells that help hair and nails grow and I would see a change 2-4 weeks after the first treatment. I've started to notice that my facial hair is not growing at the same rate as it was and feel like that is the start to the noticeable change in my hair. I really realized it Friday morning when I got up and went to shave and realized that I didn't need to as there was little growth since the day before. This is okay as they told me to shave with an electric razor (which I don't have) to reduce the risk of getting cut as I might have a hard time stopping the bleeding.

With next week's Thanksgiving holiday, it's obviously a time when people reflect and review what's going on in their lives. I've realized how thankful I am to a group of people that I will never know and who, because of many reasons that might include total desperation, were willing to be human Guinea pigs and sit through clinical trials of chemo medication with little or no "guaranty" of survival. How bad would it need to be for someone to make that decision to try some untested drug and go through the pain of Chemo not knowing if it would be successful on the other side. I feel fortunate not to be in that position and grateful for all those who have gone before me and paved this road. I'm glad I don't have to look at the girls and make that choice.

Jen and the girls walked up to the get them mail and ran into our next door neighbor Pete. He had been working on a book for since 1992 and it was published this past spring. He gave Jen a copy of the book for me to read as it's historical fiction. It's titled "7 OX 7" and it's the first part of a trilogy about the old west (1877 I believe). I will read it as Pete and I have discussed the book before and I did not realize it had made it's way to print. What a great accomplishment for him and a great gift to give someone.

With Chemo week # 2 coming up (Starts on November 26th), I am trying to take care of a bunch of things before then. We scheduled to have the carpets cleaned that week and take the dog to the cleaners and to the vet for a check up, etc. Yesterday, I ran some errands and stopped for Dog food to make sure we have enough so it's not something we need to think about. The store was really busy and there was a video on that caught my eye for a product know as the FURminator. We have a golden retriever and she has a ton of hair. I will admit that we do not brush her daily and could help with the hair problem if we did. So, I am watching this video and they claim their "deshedding" tool reduces shedding by 90% on long hair dogs and cats and the video shows them cleaning up a golden and it's amazing. So, I plunked down the $49.99 ($10 of as it's usually $59.99) for the large tool and ran home to find the dog. We sat outside for ½ hour and I pulled 5lbs of hair off the dog, It was amazing. Below is the link for this thing and it's worth looking at if you have a pet that sheds.

http://www.furminator.com/



The last thing I have been thinking about is if I should contact people that I might not have talked to in the past couple years and tell them what is going on. It seems very selfish and almost a need for attention and on the other side, at some point, they might say to me "why didn't you tell me?" How does that conversation go? Hi, I know we are old friends and have not talked in 4 years and I am currently going through Chemotherapy and wanted you to know. At that point, what is my expectation of them? How about their reaction to me and the gap since we last talked? Seems like a lot a baggage to drop on someone. Jen gave me an easy out and said I could write a Holiday card "Letter" this year to tell everyone what is going on. Not sure I want to do that either as I have received some of those in the past and, although they are a good recap of a family's year, I am not sure that is where I want to drop this news. So, I will continue to think about telling a handful of people and wonder if I should really knowing there is no right answer.

Sam

Days 12 and 13

After a ruff start to the week, things settled down and showed signs of being "normal". The shot I received on Monday made my chest and legs pretty sore by Thursday and Friday and it's finally going away. It's pretty hard to pinpoint all the physical things I feel right now and a couple of them are a sore, burning throat, stomach irritation, sore bones and being tired, all the time. These side affects are minimal and I would put my overall feeling at 70%, which is better than I would have expected. I did work on Thursday and Friday for most of the day and it was good to be there. I plan on working next week as that is the week prior to the next round of treatment, which will begin again on Monday 11/26.

One of the comments we heard was that the treatments build on each other and the effects get worse. That concerns me as the days just after treatment were not great. Where does that leave me at the end of the 4th course in January? Will it take 8 days to get over the effect of the treatment? I hope not and will not know that answer until January. Anyway, more questions than answers right now......

I am having some computer problems and have not been able to post a photo of the family or do a couple other things that I've wanted to. I have a computer friend scheduled to come by next weekend and when he cleans this up, I will add some more features and posts.

Sam

Day 11

I took it easy on Wednesday as Tuesday was such a long day and I currently feel pretty good. Of course, it's 2:36am and I am wide awake. If I can get a couple more hours of sleep, I will get into the office today which is just what I need. I was there for a few hours on Tuesday and was able to get back into a few things and that really helps keep my mind off of this other stuff.

Yesterday at 3pm, I went to a cardiologist office for the EKG test. I was not sure what kind of test to expect and they used the Ultrasound machine to look at my heart. The lab tech said everything looked normal and the Reznick is checking my heart as I have had some breathing problems. My pulse has been in the 90 bpm even when I am resting and, as Jen mentioned yesterday, I am keeping 39% of the oxygen I take in. They were going to give the results to the Dr. and I am sure I will hear from them soon. I do have one appointment on Friday and that is just for a quick blood test.

When Jen and I got home yesterday, there was a package sitting on the kitchen table. Before opening it, I knew what it was and knew of 2 people that would have sent it. I received the "Ultimate James Bond DVD Collection" (see post from 11/1/07) from Mike and Cindy Gregg. It was a great surprise and we opened it up and watched one of my favorites, "On her majesty's Secret Service". Although this is the only Bond film that George Lazenby made, along with Connery's Goldfinger, I think they are the best of the "Early" years. It also has a copy of "Casino Royale" and I though that was the best Bond movie since "A view to a Kill" as I have not enjoyed the most recent run of Bond actors. This will be a nice thing to have in a few weeks when I am back for a "Chemo" week.

Mike and Cindy are great friends and I really appreciate the acknowledgment. More importantly (much more) is the friendship. I have traveled for work to Northern California and they are always willing to make an hour drive, each way, to have a 30 minute meal with me. Thank you.

I have seen many more post from Family and Friends and it's great to hear from you. Most of the time, I do not know how to get back in contact with you as the blog emails me that you have posted but it does not provide your return email address. If you want to leave your email address, it would be good to have and if not, that is okay also. Just know that I can't respond to anyone individually if I don't have the address. The other side is that I might have it and not feel up to responding to all the posts.

I did make it back to work on Tuesday and there were a few people who's comments were a little out of place. I think it's because they just don't know what to say. I will tell you that I would rather you just say nothing to me than to ask me how I am doing. That is such an open ended question right now and very few people actually want me to answer that. Most likely, I will just say I am okay and that could be true but the question is loaded and I will probably lie to you. So, if you are asking because you think you should, please don't put me in a position to lie. Just say Hi.

Sam

Day 10 from Jennifer

Just when we thought things we’re a little normal, yesterday afternoon turned out to be anything but normal.  I met Sam at the doctor office for his chemo session at 3:00.  It was suppose to be a 30 minute session with a quick chat with the oncologist.  Turns out, Sam failed a portion of his breathing test prior to the chemo session last week, and now they’ve given him 2 doses of bleo, which has strong lung side effects.  They immediately sent us down to radiology where he had a lung scan, looking for blood clots or any illness that may have gone into his lungs.  The good news is that they didn’t find anything.  The bad news is that he immediately had some kind of reaction to the contract from the scan and sat in the waiting area for the results, shivering.  He became very nauseous and got sick in the restroom.  I drove him home, he immediately went to bed.  Soon after he asked me to take his temperature, he wasn’t feeling right.  His temperature was above the 100.5 so I called the oncologist office as instructed.  As I was on the phone, Sam blacked out and hit his head on the nightstand.  Needless to say, the oncologist sent us back to the Parker hospital.  At this point GG and Papa brought the girls home and Papa went to the hospital with us, GG stayed with the girls.  We were at the hospital until midnight on the nose.  They drew what seemed like ALL of his blood, and gave him fluids as he became dehydrated after being sick earlier.  All the blood tests came back ok, but they noticed the increased heart rate too (the portion of the breathing test he failed).

Anyway, he has another scan at 3:00 today to follow up with this increased heart rate to get to the bottom of it.  It’s too taxing on his heart and they need to find out what’s going on.  He’s feeling ok right now, but didn’t make it to work.  He’s still pretty fatigued and is definitely tired of being a pin cushion.  He’s bruised all over.

Well, that’s the latest news, never a dull moment.

 

Day 8 - Monday 11/12

When Jen and I went in for Chemo "teaching", they defined Chemotherapy as the treatment of cancer with drugs. At this moment, the term drugs is a little vague and I would like to reclassify it as poisons. I seen my fair share of drugs and they have never left me feeling or breathing or thinking like I am right now. These are poisons that are current destroying the good and bad cells in my body and it is a struggle. The past weekend was really tough as it was the first touch of this heavy sick feeling and these new feelings are awful. When it's quiet and I am not moving, my pulse is going so fast that it feels like it could knock me over. When it's quiet, there is a ringing in my ears and when I take a breath, all I want is for my body to quench the air and feel some relief but it's not there. It burns, it's heavy and it gets in the way of everything else. I know that I said I would pass along my thoughts and, if it was possible for me to regurgitate them all (unedited) onto these pages, the would be published and put on the shelf next to Steven King or the guy who wrote the Saw movies. The thoughts are disgusting and I try to tell myself that they are not mine, as I typically do not think of death, horror and blood, but they are and they are fed by the poisons. If I told you the nightmares I was having, I am not sure you could look at me the same. I don't think you would question if it was me or the poison talking but you would remember what I said as I do not want that burden. Most of the weekend, I just didn't have the energy to post to the blog. I realize that I've asked many of you to check here for updates as it's the most efficient way to pass information and I will do my best to post daily.

I expected to go to work today as I had a "decent" night's sleep. I had my first shot of Neulasta around 10am this morning and I am eagerly awaiting it to kick in. What the nurse told me is that my bones will start to hurt and that is a good thing as they are pushing out more white blood cells. As previously mentioned, the treatment kills everything that is regenerating including the good stuff so I'm extremely susceptible to getting sick and this shot helps stimulate the white blood cells. During the 2nd week of treatment, when the white count is low, they are very concerned if your temp gets to 100.5 and want to know immediately if that happens. This morning, I was at 99.1 and I chose to come home and rest. I will tell you that the Neulasta shot was 6ml and it cost $7000. Now, I totally understand that Amgen (Sorry Elaine) should get paid for their discovery and research and one day the market will be flooded with imitations, I just wish that was today as that is a very expensive Shot and I am scheduled for 3 more over the next 11 weeks.

I did have the garage door fixed last Thursday for a grand total of $560.88. As you can imagine, with the holidays, medical bills, etc, this was not the best use of money and I am still really pissed about it. We need to get it painted soon before the HOA fines us.....

So, my deal today is that I will pass on as much as I can because some of it is not appropriate and to write it down, is reliving it which is worse.

Sam

Days 6 and 7

I was not up to writing yesterday as I was very tired. I hung out most of the day as the girls ran errands and then last night, Briley and Addison went to their grandmother and aunts house. I am grateful for that as last night was really upsetting and long. I'd taken something to help sleep and it was not working and I was wide awake at 11pm. I went downstairs because I could not get comfortable and did not want to wake Jen. Within minutes of going downstairs, I was in the bathroom throwing up. The feeling of being ill is always around and i'm already so tired of it. It was impossible to get comfortable or even feel good and I drifted in and out for the next few hours. There is this burning in my body that I don't see going away for a while and it makes me sick. Everything tastes and smells bad and I wonder if people can smell it on me? Briley had a friend sleep over on Friday night and I stayed away as I know how tought it is for kids to be around anyone sick. This was a nice kid who stayed at the house and I don't worry that she would go back to school next week and make fun of Briley because I am sick. That would be all we need is for Briley to feel ashamed or upset over this. It's unavoidable that she will see me getting sick and I think that will be hard on her.

So, I'm not sure what the rest of the day looks like. I expected to go celebrate Jen's Mom Birthday but after last night and knowing what the Dr told me about where my body is, it might not be a smart move for me to be out.

I'm still thinking about work for a little while tomorrow but it will depend on the 945am Dr appointment. I need this shot to boost my white blood count as it's contributing to me feeling so tired and sick.

Hopefully, tonight will not be as bad and I can get some sleep.

77 days......

Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 5

It's going to be another quick day as Gary and I are the only people here. They pulled some of his spinal fluid again and to avoid watching it, I turned up the Ipod and layed back. I quickly fell asleep and avoided having to see all of it.

I'm pretty tired today as the week has taken it toll and i look forward to having some time away from here. As I mentioned earlier, there is very little privacy and the other thing is that typically taboo topics, like discussing bowel movements become common place. They ask how yours are, if they are hard or soft, etc. Much too much information.

The best part of today will be to have the removal of the needle and IV attachment from the port. As I chose to have it this week, in the future I will have it installed daily because it sucks to have this on.

Some of the side affects I discussed with the Dr are noticeable. The fatigue and nausea and there but mild. I have had problems sleeping and the otc medicine has helped. Food and beverages are tasking different and bland which is okay. I'm trying to eat mild food as I have had some indigestion.

So, that seems to be all for week #1. We are almost done and they told me to take easy this weekend as the low white blood count days begin next week and I need to be rested for that.

Thanks again for reading and I will post some photos of the girls over the weekend.

79 days to go....


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 4

It went really well today. Jen and I watched Mr Brooks and since there were only a couple other people, it went quick. When the room is full, it might take a while for them to change your medicine and that causes the appointments to go longer. I am really looking forward to the end of tomorrow and taking it easy this weekend. I fully expect to go to work on Monday so things seem normal. Of course, i need to stop at the Dr for a shop and hopefully that wont take too long.

As we drow home today, Jen asked how I was doing. 4 hours of drugs pumping through your systems gives you time to feel it and think about it. It's just so strange that I have this and it is still a little unreal. I've never been one to say "why me" because the opposite question of "why not me" is just as valid. I shouldn't be immune to anything that randomly strikes people more than the next person and it might just boil down to a numbers game. I won a Nintendo Wii earlier this year and if I would have know that was compensation for cancer, I would have given it back. Who wants to have good "luck" when includes the potential of getting crappy things. Anyway, when Addison got sick at the end of March and spent 3 days in the Hospital, i said I would do anything to protect the girls. Maybe this awful 12 weeks will keep them safe.

80 days to go.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Sleep and the Garage Door

I took a couple OTC sleep pills last night and it really helped. Although I woke at 4am, I was still able to get about 7 hours and I feel really good. Every morning, I expect to get up feeling shitty and it has not happened. It's more like I went out and drank and now have a mild hangover which is pretty manageable.

I really understand the fatigue that comes with the treatment and how, after consecutive days, I am getting tired of this. It's a little physical and a little emotional as you just sit there with all this stuff cycling through you. I am looking forward to having a couple weeks off even though I will need to come in for 3 appointments.

Elaine, Thank you for the links as I will look into them and I appreciate hearing from you.

Here is a photo of the garage door. What a hassle....

I will post again later.

Sam

Day 3

I was not able to get back to sleep last night until after 3 am and I discussed it with the nurse when I got here this morning. She said the anti nausea medicine affects sleep and that I should try some over the counter sleep pills and if those don't work, they will get me something stronger to help. It makes it tough when I am tired to start.

It's been a pretty simple day and Karen has been working on Gary, the guy with the head stuff. They covered his head again today and drew some spinal fluid out. He has IT really bad and Karen has been talking with him about his home meds for a half hour. It makes me feel fortunate that mine is so easy to clear up. Speaking of that, when Jen and I talked with Reznick yesterday, I asked if the success rate of my treatment is still in the 90 percent range. He said it's now in the 85+ percent range, which is still extremely strong and I'm still low risk. He was very happy with how things are progressing.

I had the chance to watch Will Ferrell's movie, Stranger than Fiction, this morning. It was amazing and I really enjoyed how different it was. I am now listening the a Grateful Dead show that I went to with Jeremy Mears on June 2, 1995 at Shoreline in Mountain View, CA. It was the last weekend of shows I ever went to and it was great because the sun was shinning, it was Jeremy's first and Only show and Brian Hoffman made it to the Sunday 6/4/95 show. They opened Friday night with Alabama Getaway and it was the first time they had played it in years which got the crowd pretty excited.

Jen, Addy and I stopped by Young American's this morning to see GG, Robert and Eileen. They sent me a gift yesterday and I wanted to thank them. Addy was very attached to GG and she always likes that.

Karen just gave me the Lasik and she put it into the tube, about 6 inches from the port. It goes directly into my body and I can feel the tempeture change and a different taste in my mouth. It's really a strange sensation and it happens instantly.

I decided to take Briley to the bus stop at 635am this morning. I opened the back of my car and let Maizy jump in, got in the drivers seat, opened the garage door and backed out. I'm not sure what I was thinking about but it clearly was not if the garage door was completley open. I hooked my rear window hinge on the bottom panel of the garage door and broke the door. There is a huge rip in the wood, I bent the rails and pulled some of it off the track. When I got back, I checked the yellowpages and called on place who offered 1 hour service and it went right to voicemail. The 2nd place had chanced their phone number number and It did not forward me to the new number. Jessica answered at Precision garage doors and I set an appointment for Thursday morning. FYI - the replacement cost of a wood garage door panel is $450 installed. As you can guess, the timing sucks and Brendan might have to wait a few more years for his $5. Sorry.

So, we just sit here, Jen reading a Jackie Collins book as I type on the blackberry. I need to go as the Lasik is kicking in.

81 days to go........


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 2.1

Although I fell asleep at 9pm, I was wide awake at 11pm and felt like it was a good time talk about the first couple days. The past 2 post have been a little different as I have sent them to the blog from my blackberry and it's hard to review the text and spelling on that thing. By the time I have gotten home, I have not felt like sitting down to relive the day, even though they have not been too bad. I am extremely optimistic about the first 2 days of treatment and how I have felt even though I know there are delayed reactions to some of the chemicals.

When I get to the office (Rocky Mountain Cancer Center) in the medical plaza at the Parker hospital, I'm required to check in at the front desk and then wait for the nurse to call me back. The seating area has 6 treatment chairs, all blue recliners, with 3 on each side of the room, facing each other. There is an uncomfortable lack of privacy as I have seen a couple things in the first 2 days that I hope I never need to see again and I will fill that in later. When they call you back, you pick a chair ( I have sat in the same one for the first 2 days) depending on availability. On Monday, the office was empty and today, there were 4 people getting treatment when I arrived. The nurses come over pretty quickly as they already have prepared my medicine and come hang it on the IV poles. Once she gets everything set up with the IV machine, she attaches it to the tube hanging out of my chest (they can take out the connector from my port daily and I asked that they leave it in this week because it sucked when she put it in on Monday as my chest was still bruised from the surgery. In the future, I will have it installed daily so I don't have to deal with this). My treatment includes the following:

• 1st: The first bag of saline.
• 2nd: During the first bag of saline, they give me some antibiotics and anti nausea medication.
• 3rd: On Tuesdays only, I receive a bag of Bleomycin
• 4th: a Bag of Cistplatin
• 5th: a bag of Etoposide
• 6th: Right near the end of the Etoposide, I get a shot of Lasik which makes you go to the bathroom. They do not want the chemicals to sit in my system and after I get this shot, I have gone to the bathroom 5 or 6 times during the final bag. The seat I have chosen is close to the bathroom as I have to drag the IV machine in there with me.
• 7th: A final bag of Saline to help clear out the system.

Yesterday, when I talked to the Dr., he said this totals about 2.5 liters of fluids a day. After that, I am still responsible to drink 1-2 liters a day of other liquids. Since I grew up in the Los Angeles Unified School district, I have no idea how much this really is and would prefer that he convert this to ounces, quarts and gallons......

It's really pretty boring as they get your bag hooked up and leave to work with other people. The chairs were pretty full today and only 1 lady was there by herself. Everyone else had someone with them as they ask you not to drive yourself home. There is not a lot of space for guests to sit although the nurses really seem to work around them and make the guest seem as comfortable as possible. At one point on Monday, Jennifer and my Dad were there and I believe there was only one other guy receiving treatment. His wife was with him and she brought him in a wheelchair. Once they had him hooked up to the IV, they leaned him back and starting working on his head. As I mentioned above, there is NO privacy and I was lucky that the IV machine was in the perfect spot to block his head from my view. Jennifer was sitting in the chair to his left and she was not watching as it was really gross. I think they were pulling some fluid out of his head but I didn't pay close enough attention to it. At one point, the nurse told me I would not have to go through that procedure and I was pretty thankful.

When we initially talked with Reznick, I asked if we could do the treatment at the Cancer center in Aurora as it's closer to the house. He preferred that we come down to the Parker office and he gave us a solid list of reasons why. One of the reasons is that he felt the smaller group offers a better patient/nurse ratio. With 6 seats and 2 nurses, it's much better than the Aurora office that has 18 seat and a handful of nurses. I am sure I will talk about the nurses quit a bit over the next few months as they are truly amazing. I'd guess that it takes a pretty special person to become a nurse as they see and do things that I can't imagine. They are very matter of fact although it has a compassionate tone to it. Sandra and Karen are the nurses and we have enjoyed them for the first couple days. I'm sure I will post more about them and I'll also post their photos as soon as I remember the camera or whenever my Dad gets around to sending me the pic's he took on Monday. Yesterday, they sang a song to a guy who had just finished his final treatment and it was really nice. They must see the best and the worst.

There was a new guy there today who had a chip on his shoulder and, although I was watching a movie, I was able to get a feeling for his situation. He had treatment 1½ years ago and whatever he had came back. He was in his mid to late 60's, had this full head of perfectly combed hair and chewed on a toothpick the whole time. His interaction with Karen was interesting as he complained about her accessing his port and that she had done it wrong. They started to discuss his prior treatment and he mentioned where he had it and Karen knew one of the nurses over there so they talked about it for a moment. At that point, his very quiet reserve wife, mentioned that they used to call him "Mr. Trouble" and I was able to see Karen's reaction to that and she, as well as the rest of us, understood it immediately. What is strange is that I could see him again on Wednesday or never again. I can see that I will prefer to sit in there and be pretty quiet.

After the treatment, I expected to feel like crap and it has not happened yet. I would not say I've been 100%, maybe 80% on the low side, although I am still trying to feel out what to do, how and when to eat, etc. The nausea I felt on Monday was not as bad on Tuesday night as I did not lay down after dinner. Some of the literature I have read said not to drink anything an hour before or after you eat and not to lay down for 2 hours after you eat. Last night (it's currently 12:41pm) was good as I ate less and did not lay down. Again, I do not want to get ahead of myself and hope that more days are like to 2 I have already experienced and not as bad as I have imagined.

I watched Blood Diamond on Tuesday and the battery on Briley's dvd player died about an hour and 45 minutes into the film. I will finish it up on Wednesday and, if I have time, watch either Stranger than Fiction or Mr. Brooks.

I am now getting tired and think I can get back to sleep. That last thing I would ask is that if anyone has questions, email me or post them and I will respond but only if I like your question.

Still....82 days to go. I will update after today.

Day 2

I was just given a test shot of bleomycin to see if i have a reaction and if not, i will get my first dose in the next few minutes.

Jennifer and I were in with Dr Reznick this morning and he read the MRI result as we sat there. He was very happy to tell us that there is no cancer in the spine and what they saw was some natural deteriation of the bone that happens to everyone and an early, very common, case of arthritis.  Obviously, this was great news as it's felt like most of the time, things have been a little worse then expected.

Reznick also asked how my first night went and it was not too bad. I felt a little sick and, after i took some medication, it was not bad. He felt this was a good sign and said that "might" be how the rest of the treatment goes, which would be ideal. There is often a round of nausea that happens early next week and I need to be aware of that.

So far, so good. I have lost 2lbs since last wednesday but that could have been the weight of my Hair.......

82 days to go.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Day 1

I am currently sitting in a blue recliner, Jennifer is sitting to my right and my father is to her right. It's 11:20am and i have been hooked up for about 20 minutes (currenly saline before they add the chemicals). So far, it has not been too bad, with the exception of the nurse attaching the needle to the port. Since my chest is brused from last Thursday's procedure, it really hurt when she pressed the neddle into the port. I tried to pull back a little and soon realized that it was not helping so I just push my chest out as she clicked the needle (and it's housing) into the port. This will stay in the port for the entire week and come out Friday afternoon. I will take a picture of it and post My father just took a picture of the room and I will try to post soon.

When we arrived, there were 3 other people getting their treatment and I avoided looking at any of them. I seem to be decades younger and dont feel like engaging them yet and maybe not at all. I have the Ipod on and will bring a book or movie(Briley has a portable dvd player) in later this week. It's pretty boring and that is okay for now. Maybe I should appreciate the time right now as these days might get tougher over the next few months.

I do wonder how my body will take this medicine. Most of you know (especially if you saw my picture from last week) that I am in good physical health and i'm curious to see where I end up. Last Thursday morning, i weighed in at 178 pounds and wonder if I will go down 10 or 20 pounds. In Lance Armstrong's book, he said his body was totally different after the chemo and that helped him with his cycling. Last May, I played in a 24 hour charity Hockey event to raise money for Children's Hospital. I was exhausted after the event and it took me a few weeks to recover which, after fining out I was sick, made sense. I plan on playing in the 2nd annual 24 hours of Hockey next May and expect to be physically ready.

The Nurse just stopped by and will give me some antiboitics and the the Cistplatin in the next few minutes. I have depleated 1 bag of fluids and have 4 more to go.

83 days left.


Sam Williams
Mercury Transaction Services
303-779-7887

Sunday Night

We just got home from my mom's house and I though I would share a photo of my new haircut. As I am destined to loose all of my hair, I felt it necessary to cut it short before it started to fall out (a result of Etoposide) as they guaranteed me that I would lose it. Addison is pretty intrigued with it and wants to rub my head. It's definitely the shortest I have ever had my hair, although that will be short lived.......

Tomorrow's appointment is on everyone's mind and I am just hoping to get in there and really understand what it takes to get through these sessions. My dad is here on a previously scheduled visit and was able to extend it so he can see where I will take the treatment. I will take photo's of the area and the nurses as it makes it easier to tell you about it if you have the visual. Although this begins tomorrow, it still does not feel very real. Of course, I now have scares and an implant to prove it's real but I am thinking about how it all happened (getting cancer) and wonder if I was conscious of a moment when it started. Is it possible that something happened one day and I felt it or had one of those instances where you feel like you missed something? I know this is an impossible question to answer and, unfortunately, these are the types of things I am contemplating right now. So, I will try to sleep this evening, wondering if those bags of pop rocks and cans of Cactus Cooler put me on the road to cancer. Maybe it was the Gatorade gum....that was not out very long and it was a strange lime green color.

Thanks to everyone for the calls and food. We are very fortunate to to have you as friends and family.

Sam

Friday's appointments

We left the house at 7:30am yesterday and returned home just before 5pm. As you can imagine, it was a pretty busy day. Below are some quick snapshots of the day:

Chemo Teaching:

• I am currently classified as "Chemo Naive" which means, I have never experienced it. Although I would have preferred to keep it this way, after Monday my description will change.
• My first chemo appointment is Monday morning at 10:45am.
• We were provided with a Cost estimation Summary which blew me away. Of course, i have no reference point for something like this and I will break it down below so you can see the cost of the drugs.

These are the cost for one Cycle of Chemo (5 days worth unless noted differently)

• Initial Infusion $3,110.00
• IV Secuential $3,030.00
• Therapeutic Injection $765.00
• Bleomycin $2,268.00
• Cisplatin $2,350.00
• Etoposide $930.00
• Dexamenthasone $50.00
• Kytril $1,250.00
• Magnesium $120.00
• Neulasta (1 shot) $7,031.00
• Potassium $200.00
• Grand Total $21,104.00

That is the Medicine cost of one Cycle of Chemo and I'll need 4 cycles. Insurance covers most of this and I am responsible for 10% of the total.

After the Chemo Teaching, I went for a Hearing test as one of the drugs above has the potential to affect the hearing and they needed a baseline test to understand where I was today. I have extremely sensitive hearing in my left ear and good hearing in my right ear. Even if I were to lose a small percentage of hearing, it would place me into a normal rating.

After the hearing, we went for a pulmonary function test. I sat in a little booth and had to breath into something that looked like a snorkel mouthpiece. She probably did 8 or 9 test on my breathing as they need a baseline for this because the Bleomycin has been know to cause breathing problems. The tester asked if I had every had problems breathing as she said I was on the lower side of the normal rating and that I might have small lungs. She did not seem concerned, she just wanted to know if it affects anything I do and I said No.

Finally, after everything else, I went in for the MRI. I believe it took about 45 minutes total and I was in there for a while before they gave me a break. When I did exit the machine, they gave me a shot of Contrast and put me right back in there for a couple more scans. I hope the Dr. will have the results of the MRI's as early as my appointment time on Monday.

This thing in my chest started to bother me yesterday as it's pretty tight. Lifting my arm above my head is not possible as it causes some pain and discomfort. Jen and I were leaving the hospital yesterday and I was feeling really worked as the past couple of weeks have been a crash course in Cancer and all it brings. Although I do not have a problem getting poked for blood or a shot, I must have had it done 10 times in the past week and it's getting old.

Sam

Real Photo ---

Okay, maybe the prior photo was not that funny. I know some of the people reading this only know me through others and might not have understood the photo or my sense of humor. Blame it on the Kriegers. Here is the real picture of the incisions from yesterday and you can see that they are not bad. I have take no pain medication as it does not hurt and is just a little sore and tight.

Today is a long day and I will try to write tonight. Jennifer has offered to update the page and I might ask that of her.


Sam

Instaport

Everything went well this morning and we got home around 2pm. There is very little pain and it’s a little uncomfortable and that is the only thing. The most painful thing happened when the admission nurse inserted the IV needle.

I was pretty curious as to the how this would look so I took a picture of my chest and added a link below as I am sure many of you are wondering the same thing.

Sam

Sam's chest:

Thursday and Friday

Quite a bit has happened since Tuesday afternoon's Dr. appointment. I was at work on Wednesday morning when I received a call saying I need to be at the Skyridge Hospital on Thursday morning at 8:30am for check in. I will be meeting Dr. Fradkin and then having a procedure where they install the Infusaport into my chest. I believe this is a pretty minor thing and it should only take an hour. Having the port, just under my skin, is the easiest way for them to give me an IV and take blood which will both be frequent events over the next 12 weeks. I was a little taken back by the call as I didn't realize this would be a 4-5 hour gig including pre-op stuff, an hour long surgery where I will be knocked out and and an hour for recovery. Jen is taking me and we anticipate it being pretty straight forward.

Not long after talking to Dr. Frakin's office, I received a call from Courtney at Dr. Reznick's office. Since there were a few things that needed to happen for me to start treatment on Monday, she called to tell me the other appointments I have scheduled for Friday (as she knew Thursday afternoon would be a little tough). So, here is the schedule for Friday:

• 9am: Reznick's office in Parker for "teaching". This is the informational meeting with the financial counselor and nurses to hear what to expect.
• 10:45am: Audiogram in Parker: Hearing test to provide a baseline for Dr's. One of the drugs has a potential side affect of buzzing in the ears. I already have that as I am living in a house with 3 women.
• 1:45pm - Pulmonary function test at the Medical center of Aurora - Test lung volumes and bronchial tree functionality.
• 3:30pm - MRI at Medical Center of Aurora - MRI of spine.

As you can see, Thursday and Friday are full of required appointments to keep Monday's start date.

The only other info from Tuesday afternoon's appointment that I wanted to share is the chemo schedule. It revolves on a 21 day cycle from the first day of treatment (always a Monday) and is broken down as follows:

• Days 1-5: I am at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center for Chemo. This is a 5 hour appointment where I receive Etoposide and Cisplatin each day and Bleomycin on Tuesday.
• Day 8: I stop into the office for medication to help with side affects. Some of the medication discussed was neulaste and arunesp. Depending on how I feel, there are many other medications available to help ease things.
• Day 9: Tuesday - Stop into the office to receive a shot of Bleomycin.
• Day 16: Tuesday - Stop into the office to receive a shot of Bleomycin.

That is what each 21 day cycle looks like in terms of scheduled office visits to receive medicine. I will have 4 cycles of BEP and that means the following 4 dates are the first day of treatment:

• November 5th
• November 26th
• December 17th
• January 7th

Although I was hoping for this thing to get going as soon as possible, I didn't sleep very well on Tuesday night as I had a lot of "what if" questions. Not so much about the treatment or how I will feel but more about Jen and the girls, the holidays, work, the cost of this stuff and everything else you can imagine, some being more serious than others. I did run into our neighbor last night (we took Addison trick or treating to the immediate neighbors houses - Briley went to a party with some friends) and I told him what was going on and asked that, if we get a significant snow, he use his snow blower on our driveway so Jen does not have to deal with it. Last year, on the December dates I am schedule for Chemo, we had a huge snow storm and I shoveled for hours. He was extremely kind and offered what ever we need and I would not have expected anything less from him. The toughest part is asking and I am really clear that, during this time, I will need to ask for help. That feels so counter intuitive as you grow up hoping to prove your independence and show how self sufficient you can be and then all of the sudden, you are asking someone to shovel your driveway because you can't. I'd guess there will be many other instances like this and the great thing is that we have the support of so many people. I can't stress how much I appreciate all the emails, calls and letters we have received and it's overwhelming when people say something similar to "just let me know what you will need and I will take care of it" as I know the people who offer this, are serious and would help with anything. This would be an easy point for me to insert a joke about needing new tires or the Ultimate James Bond dvd collection or something similar and I don't want to take away from what I am saying and that is Thank you.

I also see a shift in the blog as I have been very matter of fact and tried to pass along as much as I could with as much detail as possible. I think the next 12 weeks have the possibility of being very abstract and I have decided that I will use the blog as a journal and will be very honest and straightforward with my comments. This might give some of you more info on me than you would ever want to know and it has the potential to be pretty ugly and that is my warning to you. I will do my best, depending on how I feel, to write daily and share what is going on with the chemo. Thank you again for taking time out of your day to read this.

I do want to acknowledge that both our bosses and companies are giving us unconditional support and that provides a great sense of relief. I promise to work really hard when i get back.... well, I will work when I get back..... or, maybe I will just sit in the office and stare at the mountains.

Sam

Meeting with Reznick

Before I get into all the medical stuff, I wanted to share some photos from last weekends "Boo at the Zoo" Halloween event. We took the girls on Sunday and had a good time. It was still pretty cold when we got there and that is why Briley has a jacket over her shoulders in the photo with Sponge Bob and Patrick. She was dressed as a hippie and it looked great. Although we could not get a white beard on Addison, she still went as Santa. There are a ton of jokes in that and I will let you formulate your own.

As for the Reznick visit, it did not go as well as I would have hoped. The chest CT showed 11 small spots on my lungs (3 on the right, 8 on the left) and the bone scan showed something on T12 of my spine. At this point, he took away the Chemo options of "EP" and said that correct course of action is to have 4 cycles of BEP as that will not only clear the lymph node, it will also clear up the lungs. He was a little more suspicious of the spot on the bone and wants me to have a MRI this week and he will then confer with Dr. Larry Einhorn, that man who developed the current protocol that "Cured" testicular cancer. I am schedule to start chemo on Monday November 5th and will need to get the following things taken care of this week:

• A pulmonary function test and Audiogram - Will test my lung capacity as the Bleomycin can have some affect of breathing and they need a baseline of my lung volume. I will need to do this throughout the treatment.
• Infusaport - A minor surgery to insert the infusaport into my chest as this is how they deliver the IV and take blood. It will be under the skin and it probably the only thing I have been freaked out by. He said, at the start of a chemo week, they will insert a needle in there that will be used all week.
• Pre-Chemo meeting - A meeting with the nurses and financial advisor. Jennifer and I will go in and they will answer all of our questions and give us some expectations on the next 12 weeks.
• MRI - Need the MRI on my spine.

I expect to hear from the various Dr's tomorrow and all of this will need to happen over the next 3 day. Although many of you emailed that you liked how detailed I have been, Right now, I just don'f feel like going into it. I will add more later including the schedule as it's more than I thought.

Sam

Reznick Follow Up

 

  Jen and I are going to the follow up at Dr. Reznick’s office today at 3pm. As you can imagine, we are anxious to hear the results of the scans and find out if we are still on the same treatment path or if anything has changed. I will update the blog this evening as I have heard from a lot of people who have asked that I get that info out.

 

 Caitlin gave me Lance Armstrong’s book and I picked it up Saturday. It was much more interesting than I thought, minus the chapter about falling in love with his now ex-wife, and gave me a good view of the chemo. He had it really bad and mine is no where near the level of his although, I could have a similar treatment. We went to the book store on Sunday and I must have glanced at 8-10 books on cancer and chemo and the only thing I am clear about is that this is going to suck.

 

Sam

 

 

 

 

CT and Bone Scan

I had the CT Chest scan and body bone scan today. Pretty simple although it took a long time as I had to get an injection at 10am for a 1pm bone scan. I went into the Nuclear scan department and received the shot of a radioactive compound called technetium. As I sat down for the shot, the lady pulled a syringe out of a large sealed container (about the size of a 7 Eleven big gulp cup). The syringe was oddly small next to the container and the amount of Technetium might have been a couple ml's. The shot was quick and then we went to the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center for the CT Scan. Since I was getting a IV, the nurse saw that I have been given a shot earlier in the day and called it a target and went right into the same area. I had to go yesterday and get blood drawn and now both arms have been hit. I'm sure this is a glance into my future....

As I mentioned last week, I expect these scans to come back clear. I follow up with Reznick on Tuesday afternoon and hope to get a start date on any further treatment. At this point, the waiting is the tough part as we talk about the rest of the year and then the conversation tails off with " unless that is a chemo week" or something similar.

We have heard from so many people and it would be hard to list everyone for fear of missing anyone. I just want all of you to know how great it is to have your support and thoughts and even if I have not had a chance to email you back, we (my family) discuss who has commented or emailed I appreciate it.

I post Tuesday night after I talk with Reznick.

Sam

Vegas..

Had a great time in Vegas with the guys and also had the chance to see a handful of other people who were in town last weekend. On Friday night, Jeff and Paul showed up as they had flown in for the evening. Heather and David were in early Sunday afternoon and we were able to meet up for dinner and I had breakfast with Mike on Monday. It was good timing that so many people were there and we were able to spend some, although brief, time together.



I forwarded a copy of my pathology report to my mom and she sent it to Uncle Fred as he is retired Dr. He was able to show it to a pathologist and oncologist as well as doing his own research and he called the other night. According to the 3 Dr's, they felt I am getting good advice on the best course of treatment and he agrees with the Chemo. I discussed the differences of the BEP vs EP and said that I am leaning toward the EP, even though it extends the treatment for 3 extra weeks, as there are no long term side affects. Fred agreed as he understood the risks of using Bleomycin. So, it's like I now have my 5th opinion and they are all consistent which is a good sign.

Scans on Friday, Dr. Appointment on Tuesday where I anticipate hearing that the scans are clear and we can talk about a start date for the chemo.

I will get some photo's of the girls uploaded this week.

Sam

Dr. Reznick

This afternoon, Jennifer and I meet with Dr. Reznick, the Oncologist. It was the first time we were able to sit down and have a discussion about the current diagnosis, treatment options and what's next. We visited Reznick, who works with the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, at the medical center in the Parker hospital.

The appointment started with him asking my medical history, how I am currently feeling and then a brief exam. For the purpose of this post, keep in mind that today's conversation was predicated on the thought that the 2 scans I need (bone and lung, scheduled for Friday 10/26) will come back clean as he felt I was very healthy. If these scans revel something unexpected, the information below will change.

According to Reznick, I am on the fence between a Stage 1 (cancer contained in the testicle) and Stage 2 (cancer has spread) diagnosis because I have a grand total of 1 questionable lymph node. At this point, there is no way to know if this specific node is cancerous and he gave us a few indicators to use as measuring points:

• Healthy Lymph Nodes are typically under 1cm. This one is at 2.1 cm and he said when these are unhealthy, they can get up to 6cm.

• With this type of Cancer, they test the blood for 3 markers: LDH, AFP and HCG. My numbers were normal for LDH and AFP and my HCG number was at 278. Reznick broke down this number and said that I fall into the Good Risk category as the number was under 1000. Any HCG number between 1001-5000 is considered Fair Risk and anything greater that 5000 is Poor Risk. He said that a healthy number is under 2 and sent me for blood work today as he thinks my number is probably lower than it was 2 weeks ago.

• According to Reznick, there is a 75% chance that the node is Cancerous (stage 2) and a 25% chance it's not (stage 1).

At this point in the meeting, I was feeling a tremendous amount of relief as he could have said there were 5, 10, 20 or any number of problem Lymph Nodes. Hearing that there is only one seemed to be a good thing and we started talking about treatments. He cautioned that, even though there is only 1, we still need to address this and that will require some treatment and he broke it down into 3 potential options:

RPLND - This is a surgery where they go in and remove the lymph node. The benefit of this procedure is they can send the node to Pathology and find out if it's cancerous. If it's clean, they change the diagnosis to Stage 1 where there is a 85-95% chance that they body is cancer free. If the node is cancerous, they lower it to 60-70% and suggest 2 courses of Chemo. Although there are some new "nerve sparing surgery" procedures, this is a risky surgery even done by the best surgeons.

Chemotherapy - Because I didn't know much about chemo, I will explain the process before talking about the options (this description is for the purpose of my care as I know there are many other types of chemo). The Chemo is broken down into Cycles that represent a 3 week period. I would go into the office for 5 straight business days and receive the Chemo via IV. The procedure would take over 5 hours a day as they give you the drugs and then flush them out of your system. He was very clear that my reaction to the chemo would be watched and I could be nauseous and tired and that they could offer some medication to help ease the discomfort (Unfortunately, there is no medication to stop hair loss and he said they often see that 2-4 weeks after the first course). Of Course, everyone reacts to this differently and we would have to wait and see what happens.

I have 2 options for the Chemo: BEP or EP and these letters represent the drug combinations. BEP requires 3 courses (9 total weeks) and is a little riskier because of the B which is a drug know as Bleomycin. According to Reznick, there is an increased chance of lung problems and If this is the direction I pick, there are many tests on the lungs before and during the chemo to make sure it is not negatively affecting me. The second option is EP and that requires 4 courses (12 total weeks). I have not had a chance to read about either of these yet including the risk potential of BEP in terms of percentages. Reznick said the risk was under 10% of any long term breathing problems and I'm not sure that is low enough for me as I can't risk losing even 5%. Don't forget, I have my Thursday night Men's League hockey career to think about.

Surveillance - This option takes a distant 3rd position as it requires a ton of maintenance of the first 2 years, including monthly visits, scans, blood work, etc and (although I can't remember the percentage) a high percent end up going through option 1 or 2 within the first couple years.

If we were discussing 10 or 20 problem Lymph nodes, I feel it might make sense to get in there and clean all of them out. At this point, with 1 stinking Lymph node causing these problems, I am very clear that I want to avoid any more surgery and would consider Chemo. As I stated above, I have not researched these options and weighed the risks yet so I do not know which option I am leaning toward. I asked Reznick, if he was in my position, what option would he take and it was a quick answer of Chemo. I also asked the same question of Dr. Sarram, who I visited with after the Reznick appointment, and he also said Chemo.

I have the Bone Scan and CT Scan scheduled for Friday 10/26 and a follow up with Reznick on the afternoon of 10/30. At that point, if the scans are clear, we will pick the course of treatment and set a start date and I believe it could be as early as the following week (November 5th). If the scans show anything different, it's back to the drawing board.

Thanks for listening and let me know if you have any questions. Not sure I can answer all of them but I might be able to direct you to the right place.

Finally, The 12 of you that have taken the poll and said you would be cool with Addison running around your house with the squeaky shoes on are hilarious. She is my kid and it makes me crazy. I know a couple people who responded and I know they wouldn't put up with it for 10 minutes. Again, I can only thank GG and know that the next time I drop Addison off at her house, I will give Addison her first taste of Mountain Dew.......

Sam